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Post by cory on Apr 23, 2012 17:23:40 GMT -6
==> Cory: Reveal ulterior motive.
This really is too easy.
[/center] maybe, uh, if you had a girlfriend, this wouldn't be, ah, such an issue, for you
you know you can, uh, talk to me, about anything, right?
we, um, shouldn't keep, uh, secrets, from each other
Sometimes you hit these cocktails of sistering and parenting that weird even you out. [/center] |
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Post by alexander on Apr 23, 2012 17:28:00 GMT -6
==> ZA: Deadpan.
Wait. She's doing this to you over THAT? Come on, Cory, this is really not the time to try and be the NAGGING PARENT. It is the time to explain the RAGING PEDOPHILIA. No. No wait, that's incorrect. This is technically EPHEBOPHILIA. [/center] ALEX: And what is THAT supposed to mean?
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Post by cory on Apr 23, 2012 17:31:42 GMT -6
==> Cory: Be a shitty parent.
Not for the first time you realize that you are EXTREMELY SHITTY AT PARENTING
[/center] what, uh, do you think, it means?
Smooth, Cory. Real smooth. [/center] |
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Post by alexander on Apr 23, 2012 17:35:36 GMT -6
==> ZA: Keep on deadpannin'.
You continue to stare at Cory. You are FAIRLY CERTAIN that she has gotten her roles mixed up. What she is asking for is something that is not supposed to happen for a long, long time. At least you think so. So how she can make some critical error like this shows not for the first time, that she is EXTREMELY SHITTY AT PARENTING. But you get by. Still, you know what she is saying, you think.
You are certain of this. [/center] ALEX: Cory.
ALEX: I'm XV.
ALEX: I'm too young to have kids.
ALEX: We're talking like X, XV years off here.
ALEX: Furthermore.
ALEX: You'd be an aunt.
ALEX: Not a grandmother.
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Post by cory on Apr 23, 2012 17:44:56 GMT -6
==> Cory: Receive low blow.
Sometimes you feel awful about the things you've had to do and say to make Alex the person he is now.
Most of those times it's something he says. You let your hurt show on your face.
[/center] i know, alex
i'm, doing my best, here
i'm just, uh, worried, that you, might be, ah, isolating yourself, too much
you know i, uh, can teleport you anywhere, you want to go, right?
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Post by alexander on Apr 23, 2012 17:56:37 GMT -6
==> ZA: Be baffled.
Wait, why is she showing a hurt face? You are not sure what you could have possibly done. You just reminded her that you were too young to have kids. Did she really want you to have kids or something? She could be so weird sometimes. [/center] ALEX: I never said you were doing a bad job, did I?
ALEX: It's just too early for me to have kids.
ALEX: If that's even a good idea.
ALEX: But, teleporting me elsewhere would be a bad idea.
ALEX: Especially to my friends.
ALEX: Unless it's to Venn.
ALEX: I'm fine with you teleporting me to Venn.
ALEX: Mainly like the hell right now.
ALEX: I need to have a little dialogue with him.
ALEX: Either way, we should all meet through the game.
ALEX: So you won't have to worry, I guess.
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Post by cory on Apr 23, 2012 18:06:17 GMT -6
==> Cory: Be the parent.
Oh man. Are you going to have to go there? You'd hoped he'd just sort of figure things out. On the internet.
[/center] no, alex
you don't, ah, have any control, over who i decide to, uh, fall in love with
i'm just, um, worried?
you've never once, ah, asked me, to take you to see, uh, your friends
this isn't, um, just about, sex
you know that, uh, you can have sex, without having, um, children, right?
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Post by alexander on Apr 23, 2012 18:12:57 GMT -6
==> ZA: Shoot her down.
Oh dear God. Is she trying what you think she's trying you need to SHOOT HER DOWN. You need to SHOOT HER THE HELL DOWN RIGHT NOW. You know damn well what kind of talk this is. There is positively NO WAY you are letting her try this. Because dear God, your mind will never recover. [/center] ALEX: Oh no.
ALEX: We are not having this discussion.
ALEX: I refuse to have this discussion.
ALEX: I know about condoms.
ALEX: I am just not interested in sex.
ALEX: That is all there is to it.
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Post by cory on Apr 23, 2012 18:21:03 GMT -6
==> Cory: STRIFE!
This wasn't going to be pleasant for either of them.
[/center] what about, uh, romance, in general?
and, ah, there are, other methods, of contraception
as well as, certain, uh, diseases, to look out for
and, ah, rules to follow, and, um, a certain level of, respect, to show your, ah, partner
no matter which, uh, gender, your partner might, um, be
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Post by alexander on Apr 23, 2012 18:24:40 GMT -6
==> ZA: STRIFE!
Oh my God she was really going to do this. You are tempted to activate the MIND OF STEEL and just BLOCK EVERYTHING OUT. But you really need to get her to knock it off. the MIND OF STEEL would probably just end badly, and would probably depress her. Shutting her out, and everything. But this was shit you didn't need to be told by your sister. [/center] ALEX: ... Romance.
ALEX: ...
ALEX: No, not really...
ALEX: Wait.
ALEX: What.
ALEX: Oh God no.
ALEX: I told you we are not having this discussion.
ALEX: I will pursue these things when I am ready.
ALEX: So goddammit we are not having this talk.
ALEX: You stop right now.
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Post by cory on Apr 23, 2012 18:41:39 GMT -6
==> Cory: STRIFE!
This wasn't going to be pleasant for either of them.
[/center] we need to talk about this, uh, eventually, alex
and it's better, ah, that you hear it, from someone with, um, experience
rather than, uh, the internet, or other, sources
now, uh, what do you think, um, you might be, most interested, in?
women?
uh, men?
i could, um, get us, a dog
i've, uh, done it all, really
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Post by alexander on Apr 23, 2012 18:46:35 GMT -6
==> ZA: STRIFE!
Oh. Oh God. [/center] ALEX: Wait.
ALEX: What the fuck.
ALEX: You've had sex with a DOG?!
ALEX: What is WRONG with you.
ALEX: That is DISGUSTING.
ALEX: Oh God.
ALEX: I think I'm going to be sick.
ALEX: Hurk.
ALEX: Oh God.
ALEX: Get me a bucket, or something.
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Post by cory on Apr 23, 2012 18:53:46 GMT -6
==> Cory: STRIFE!
You knew exactly how he would react, but it hurts anyway. It's hard being billions of years old. It's hard and nobody understands.
You spike, flickering in and out of reality in flashes of green and yellow. A bucket materializes at Alex's feet.
You decide to STICK TO YOUR GUNS about the whole no-secrets thing. Well, aside from the one.
[/center] well, uh, not just a dog
um, lots of other things, too
what i'm trying to, uh, illustrate, here
is that, um, i don't judge
and, ah, neither should you
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Post by alexander on Apr 23, 2012 18:58:50 GMT -6
==> ZA: Vomit
You give. You grab the bucket and hang your face inside. What she says next PUSHES YOU OVER THE EDGE. Bile flows from your mouth and into the bucket. You cough and wheeze a couple times before HAVING ANOTHER FIT. This is the worst day of your life, bar none. You know this will haunt you for the rest of your life.
You are certain that you will cry at night and have nightmares about it. [/center] ALEX: Oh death...
ALEX: Where is thy sting?
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Post by cory on Apr 23, 2012 19:05:55 GMT -6
==> Cory: Win.
You mean well. You genuinely do.
[/center] so, uh, i'm guessing, not animals, then?
what about, uh, guys?
i have some, ah, gay friends who, would be happy to, um, give you some, advice
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