matchin' kids up in paradox space [reni]

[cael]

-- ferventAugmentum [FA] began pestering eminentDilettante [ED] at ??:?? --

FA: HELLO RENI!!!!!!
FA: i am cael branco
FA: the AWESOME BIG SISTAH
FA: of one mister ross branco
FA: NOW TELL ME
FA: WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP
FA: with this mister ross branco

[reni]

[style=width: 450px; padding: 10 25; background: #282832; border: 1px dashed black; font-size: 11px; font-family: courier new; font-weight: bold; color: 78afff; text-align: left;]ED: oh hello
ED: this is a pleasant surprise hun
ED: ive always wondered when i would meet you
ED: hes an absolutely wonderful guy
ED: i dont think i can say anything bad about him besides his taste in women
ED: but thats out of my reach to be honest so theres no use being offended

[cael]

FA: can i just say
FA: you are beautiful and perfect and should make out with him right now
FA: and that is all

[reni]

[style=width: 450px; padding: 10 25; background: #282832; border: 1px dashed black; font-size: 11px; font-family: courier new; font-weight: bold; color: 78afff; text-align: left;]ED: well i suppose i should thank you
ED: so thank you hon for the compliment
ED: im sure anyone who looks after ross must be quite pleasing especially to the eye
ED: however in regards to the potential of making out
ED: i must say the ball is unfortunately in his field
ED: locked out of space by the boulder that is cali conner

[cael]

FA: baaaaaaw thank you, youre so sweet <3
FA: you know what
FA: cali conner can throw herself off a cliff
FA: i like you better
FA: youre nice
FA: and you dont go around smashing peoples hearts in
FA: you also dont make me want to swear!
FA: AND THAT IS AN EXCELLENT THING

[reni]

[style=width: 450px; padding: 10 25; background: #282832; border: 1px dashed black; font-size: 11px; font-family: courier new; font-weight: bold; color: 78afff; text-align: left;]ED: everything you said is quite true
ED: but i dont think your brother believes the same
ED: or i should clarify
ED: he may believe the same but his passion for cali exceeds whatever thoughts he may have for me
ED: i likely only exist as a faded artifact in a lost ruin hon
ED: collecting dust until he decides to undertake archaeological pursuits
ED: and im afraid thats not his thing

[cael]

FA: at this point i dont care what he thinks
FA: HE WILL BE HAPPY GOSHDARNIT
FA: AND CALI WILL NOT DO THAT FOR HIM
FA: oh gosh now im getting upset and i just want to slap a child all over again
FA: im a lawyer i cant slap children
FA: thats like
FA: against the law
FA: sistah youre so great
FA: i love you already
FA: can you be my sister-in-law
FA: and give me nieces and nephews please
FA: ive always wanted to be aunt cael
FA: auntie cael doesnt that just sound magical???
FA: OOPS SORRY TALKIN BOUT TEEN PREGNANCY AGAIN
FA: i keep doing that
FA: i should not support that
FA: makeouts only okay
FA: dont have kids until you can support them or give them to me

[reni]

[style=width: 450px; padding: 10 25; background: #282832; border: 1px dashed black; font-size: 11px; font-family: courier new; font-weight: bold; color: 78afff; text-align: left;]ED: hon trust me youre making quite the good impression on me as well
ED: however none of that will become even a remote possibility for what appears to be quite some time now
ED: and dont worry about the illegality of things
ED: im relaxing by drinking tequila and smoking a cigarette
ED: i know they kill its a curse hon believe me
ED: regardless i dont believe ross is at all interested in me
ED: thus you may have to look toward ms conner for becoming auntie cael
ED: hon im going to be completely frank with you in hopes that youll keep this from ross
ED: it might just crush him a bit more hence why i havent told him
ED: i am interested in him
ED: so believe me when i say that its all on him
ED: im not going to force anything

[cael]

FA: daaaaaaw
FA: i should be like, not okay with that
FA: but i cant really judge
FA: i liked a good shot of tequila myself at sixteen
FA: i always liked the harder stuff better though
FA: nothin like a nice glass of whisky at the end of the day
FA: WHOOPS GONNA STOP TALKIN ABOUT UNDERAGE DRINKING NOW
FA: i think
FA: that
FA: cali is no good for him
FA: and you are good for him
FA: maybe youll get him to have fun for once in his life
FA: butbutbut
FA: IN MY EXPERIENCE
FA: telling someone doesnt work out too well
FA: it just makes things awkward for everyone
FA: so why doncha show him instead
FA: you know
FA: just
FA: have fun
FA: AND MAYBE IMPLY A FEW THINGS
FA: winkwink
FA: for the record I AM THE CAPTAIN OF THE SS RENI AND ROSS FOREVER
FA: i have a nautical hat and everything
FA: i will go down with this ship
FA: oh no im being creepy again
FA: im sorry ill stop now

[reni]

[style=width: 450px; padding: 10 25; background: #282832; border: 1px dashed black; font-size: 11px; font-family: courier new; font-weight: bold; color: 78afff; text-align: left;]ED: you dont have to stop talking about underage drinking hon
ED: im no stranger to that i fear
ED: hm that is some sound advice hon
ED: however i do believe fun would be a rather hard commodity to come across in a place like this
ED: my world is much too barren and brightly lit for anything
ED: it would have to be watching a movie and im not too sure ross is into the movies of the golden age
ED: so unless ross likes watching me shoot every imp that comes by looking for a strife then there wont be much in the way of fun
ED: and i dont want to load him with implications that will surely lead to no good
ED: similarly i do not want to load him with alcohol thats unreasonable of me
ED: i dont understand what this talk of ships is about

[cael]

FA: oh noooo what if you have a problem
FA: and im only encouraging you
FA: im sorry honey ill help you
FA: well make it through thiOH MY GOSH WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO FUN
FA: YOU CAN HAVE FUN ANYWHERE!!!!!!
FA: all you need is good company!
FA: heck strifing is a lot of fun
FA: YOU GUYS SHOULD GO ON A STRIFEDATE
FA: just go around strifing things together
FA: NO BIG DEAL
FA: just like kinda
FA: find him and
FA: invite him out yknow
FA: WORKS LIKE A CHARM
FA: oh ship is like
FA: um
FA: relationship???
FA: ITS A NAUTICAL PUN
FA: im such a genius i cant believe i thought of it really

[reni]

[style=width: 450px; padding: 10 25; background: #282832; border: 1px dashed black; font-size: 11px; font-family: courier new; font-weight: bold; color: 78afff; text-align: left;]ED: i dont have a problem hon dont worry about it
ED: whenever i do a show i stop all that
ED: ive stopped for months cold turkey im fine
ED: cael listen all this talk of dates
ED: it wont happen
ED: ross likes cali not me
ED: im not usually one to be so self absorbed so as to feel self pity but im rather close at the moment
ED: listen hon i like you you seem like a classy lady who knows her puns
ED: so ill attempt it if i ever manage to find ross
ED: dont expect anything from it and dont even expect him to know it was a date
ED: most important of all do not tell him anything i told you
ED: can i trust you

[cael]

FA: oh okay
FA: thats alright then
FA: oh
FA: oh no
FA: oh noooooo now youre crushing my hopes and dreams
FA: ill keep on dreaming though
FA: because it will happen one day
FA: and ill be there for the congratulatory fist bump and the necessary i told you so
FA: you know what
FA: i am a classy lady
FA: and youre a classy lady
FA: so classy lady secrets are safe with me
FA: even if these secrets tear apart my heart and soul

[reni]

[style=width: 450px; padding: 10 25; background: #282832; border: 1px dashed black; font-size: 11px; font-family: courier new; font-weight: bold; color: 78afff; text-align: left;]ED: cael im sorry
ED: its just one thing that cannot happen
ED: if it were under my control things would be a different story
ED: i know your hopes and dreams may be crushed but step into my shoes hon and play my part
ED: the constant eponine to her cosette
ED: competing for the smitten marius eponine tries and tries but ultimately cannot overcome his love for cosette
ED: if you know the tale of les miserables you know the end result
ED: eponine dies a tragic death on the barricade after delivering a letter from marius to cosette and isnt seen until a harmony part at the end of the show
ED: marius and cosette wed
ED: i
ED: need alcohol

[cael]

FA: oh no honey, you gotta stay positive!!!!!!
FA: i know it seems impossible and just horrible all around
FA: but theres always a chance right?
FA: so you go for it just in case, so you dont regret not doing anything when you could
FA: and if he doesnt want you, fine!
FA: you let yourself grieve, and then you pick yourself up and you dust yourself off and you move on!
FA: les miserables or not
FA: i just think its worth a shot, yknow?
FA: you gotta get rid of the angst and do things just because!!!!!!
FA: gosh, you guys are the most depressing bunch of teenagers ive ever met
FA: you gotta live!
FA: oh no, no alcohol
FA: have a drink cause you want one, not cause you need one