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Post by lofora on Jul 24, 2012 18:29:19 GMT -6
==> Lofora: Initiate.
Project "get really fucking stoned" is now underway. You've had one too many drinks of cactus juice, and that was long ago. You want to see just how gone you can get. You want to get away from all this shit. It's so incredibly boring. And much too tense most of the time for your liking. So you decided to get absolutely blasted. One last time before you quit. You promised yourself.
Of course you wouldn't, but shit, you'd try for a few hours.
[/center] LOFORA: ✯ bluuuuuuhh. LOFORA: ✯ ffuuck spaacee.
You halfheartedly throw a broken cactus at a wall. It bounces off with a hilariously small sproing sound.
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Post by anguis on Jul 24, 2012 18:38:52 GMT -6
======> ANGUIS: Initiate.You can't help yourself. Your curiosity has been piqued. You are on a motherfucking quest. A mission. You are going to find out how Lofora gets so damn high. You're still half convinced it's sopor, but the fishbitch mentioned something about cactus juice, so now of course you have to make sure. The only way to do that is to drop in on the soporwhore unexpectedly. Maybe you'll get lucky. You get lucky. At first you think she might be dead -- dead people get all sprawled out like that, right? -- but then you realize she's not, and you look around. Broken cactus. Broken cactus. Okay. Maybe the fishbitch was on to something. ANGUIS: Yo. ANGUIS: How'ss it going. [/color][/center][/font]
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Post by lofora on Jul 24, 2012 18:41:58 GMT -6
==> Lofora: Haha what.
Is that Anguis? She looks like... Woah, she's all moving around and shit. Daaaaamn. You wave hello, before letting your arm drop to the ground. You think you've had enough.
[/center] LOFORA: ✯ yyyy∞∞. LOFORA: ✯ iiii'm d∞∞iiiin ffffuuuuckiiiin greeeeaaaat aaaand shhhhiiiit, naaaawmsaaaayyyyiiiin? LOFORA: ✯ hhhh∞∞w b∞∞uuuut yyyy∞∞uuuu, chhhhiiiick?
You grin. Your pictureshades are slightly askew, but you don't care.
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Post by anguis on Jul 24, 2012 18:59:42 GMT -6
======> ANGUIS: Be amazed.You're kind of impressed. Bitch is high as a motherfucking kite. More than she normally is, anyway. You wonder how long it took her to get that way. You also wonder how she got that way. Time to find out. ANGUIS: Alright I guessss. ANGUIS: Kind of tensse though. ANGUIS: I need to relax. ANGUIS: Can you help me with that? [/color][/center][/font]
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Post by lofora on Jul 24, 2012 19:06:54 GMT -6
==> Lofora:Pfffffff.
You make that sound. C'mon, can you help her relax? No shit you can.
[/center] LOFORA: ✯ ffffuuuuck t∞∞ thhhheeee yyyyeeees, duuuudeeeer. LOFORA: ✯ iiii g∞∞t aaaall kiiiinds ∞∞ffff shhhhiiiit, naaaawmsaaaayyyyiiiin? LOFORA: ✯ iiii g∞∞t maaaawffffuuuuggiiiin hhhhaaaalluuuuciiiinaaaatiiii∞∞n caaaactiiii. LOFORA: ✯ iiii g∞∞t maaaawffffuuuuggiiiin maaaakeeee yyyy∞∞uuuu ffffeeeeeeeel g∞∞∞∞d aaaas shhhhiiiit caaaactiiii. LOFORA: ✯ iiii g∞∞t maaaawffffuuuuggiiiin chhhhiiiill yyyy∞∞ aaaass ∞∞uuuut caaaactiiii. LOFORA: ✯ iiii g∞∞t maaaawffffuuuuggiiiin hhhhyyyypeeee yyyy∞∞ aaaass uuuup caaaactiiii. LOFORA: ✯ iiii g∞∞t c∞∞mb∞∞s aaaand shhhhiiiit, t∞∞∞∞, naaaawmsaaaayyyyiiiin? LOFORA: ✯ whhhhaaaat yyyy∞∞uuuu neeeeeeeed, duuuudeeeer?
You get a cactus from your sylladex and kinda roll it toward her.
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Post by anguis on Jul 24, 2012 19:20:14 GMT -6
======> ANGUIS: AsdjsffsdfsefYou can feel your think pan shriveling up and dying. You pick up the cactus and stare at it. What do you do? ANGUIS: Fuck. ANGUIS: I don't even know. ANGUIS: Any. ANGUIS: All. ANGUIS: Yeah let'ss do all. ANGUIS: Every ssingle fucking one. [/color][/center][/font]
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Post by lofora on Jul 24, 2012 19:27:30 GMT -6
==> Lofora: Be impressed.
Damn, this chick can bang 'em down if she's asking for all of them.
[/center] LOFORA: ✯ yyyy∞∞. LOFORA: ✯ yyyy∞∞∞∞∞∞. LOFORA: ✯ aaaall ∞∞ffff eeeem? LOFORA: ✯ duuuudeeeer iiii g∞∞t shhhhiiiitt∞∞ns buuuut whhhhaaaateeeevs.
You proceed to remove about a thousand captchalogue cards, each with a cactus imprinted on it. You toss each to her.
LOFORA: ✯ g∞∞ craaaazyyyy. LOFORA: ✯ hhhhaaaaveeee ffffuuuun. LOFORA: ✯ whhhhaaaateeeeveeeer's leeeefffft, juuuust... LOFORA: ✯ uuuuhhhh...
You pass out, sleeping ever so peacefully.
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Post by anguis on Jul 24, 2012 20:16:39 GMT -6
======> ANGUIS: Be disgusted.Bitch is high. You're vaguely repulsed, mildly angry, and have the disturbingly real urge to punch Lofora in the face. But you can't do that. You don't have fistkind. You don't bother trying to catch the cards. You just let them fall, and when the soporwhore -- cactusbitch, now -- passes out, you unleash your ULTIMATE WEAPON. The GIANT ANACONDA eyes the cards for a moment, and promptly smashes its tail against the floor -- and the cards that cover them -- over and over and over again, until every single one is broken. ANGUIS: I'll jusst leave them here. [/color] You leave.[/center][/font]
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Post by lofora on Jul 24, 2012 20:32:11 GMT -6
==> Lofora: Wake up.
It is now much later. You open your eyes. Everything hurts. You have a splitting headache. You hear ringing briefly as your vision comes into focus and you attempt to rouse yourself. It doesn't work. Okay, but you try again. It works this time. You're over on your side.
You tilt your head. What are those? The fuck? You lazily flop an arm over your side to pick up a piece of whatever and bring it closer, squinting. That's... Wait, what? That can't be right. You scoot over, checking them out.
Those are captchalogue cards.
Those are your captchalogue cards.
Those are your cacti.
You attempt to fetch a cactus. You cannot.
[/center] LOFORA: ✯ whhaat. LOFORA: ✯ whhaat. LOFORA: ✯ ffuuckiing whhaat.
You sort through the pile, finding something, something that might be unbroken. There is nothing there. Your hands begin to shake. You know what this means. There will be no weaning. You are terrified. But even more than that, you're pissed.
What did this? You briefly recall falling in and out of consciousness very often. But you know someone was there. On the tip of you're tongue...
Anguis. You're filled with hatred for the first time in your life. You are going to do terrible things to that fucking BITCH.
==> Lofora: FLIP THE FUCK OUT.
YOU DO. You take out your cactus and BREAK EVERYTHING IN YOUR ROOM, except your husktop. You're gonna need that. Everything else was expendable. You then begin to bash the walls, screaming. Shouting. Anyone who is capable of hearing should be able to hear you. You bash even harder when your headache gets worse from the loud noises.
You then realize what you have to do.
You exit the room, holding your giant cactus. THE DELTA DEFENDER was your ultimate weapon, a ten foot cactus with spines that can detach and grow back in seconds. This motherfucker is a killer. You look around, not finding Anguis. You raise your voice for the first time in your life. LOFORA: ✯ AANGUUIIS WHHEEREE THHEE FFUUCK AAREE YY∞UU? LOFORA: ✯ WEE NEEEED T∞ HHAAVEE AA FFUUCKIIN TAALK. LOFORA: ✯ N∞W.
You stand in place, looking around, breathing heavily. You're waiting. She can't just wait quietly. No, not now. She'll show herself.
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Post by anguis on Jul 24, 2012 20:43:47 GMT -6
======> ANGUIS: Be afraid.You're terrified. But that's okay. You knew this was going to happen. No you didn't. You had no idea this was going to happen and you are FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT. The cactusbitch -- not even that, she doesn't have any more cacti -- is screaming your name and you can hear her and you are afraid for your fucking life you have to get out You close your eyes, and breathe, and make your way back to Lofora, your GIANT ANACONDA at your side. The beast is at least twenty feet from head to tail, probably a good three hundred pounds, and poisonous to boot. You hope he's enough to intimidate. You're honestly afraid for your very existence. You thank whatever gods there are that your dreamself is still alive. You arrive and force yourself to smirk at the furious highblood. ANGUIS: Problem? [/color][/center][/font]
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Post by lofora on Jul 24, 2012 20:51:07 GMT -6
==> Lofora: PROBLEM.
Oh you fucking hate this bitch. You roar and swing your giant cactus into the wall. A bit of it crumbles. You rip it out. There are spines stuck in the wall, but you make damn sure Anguis can see that the spines can come right back. They shoot into position.
[/center] LOFORA: ✯ leet's bee glaad thhaat waasn't yy∞uur FFUUCKIING HHEEAAD. LOFORA: ✯ yyees, aanguuiis, N∞ FFUUCKIING SHHIIT thheeree's aa pr∞bleem. LOFORA: ✯ ii seeeem t∞ hhaavee w∞keen uup t∞ aa FFUUCKIING PIILEE ∞FF MYY CAAPTCHHAAL∞GUUEE CAARDS iin aa RUUIINEED FFUUCKIING MEESS. LOFORA: ✯ ii ffuuckiing kn∞w thhiis waas yy∞uur ffaauult. LOFORA: ✯ aand yy∞uu'd beest hhaavee ∞nee ffuuckiing N∞VEEL ∞ff aan eexplaanaatii∞n beeff∞ree ii STRAANGLEE yy∞uu.
Okay, so the snake intimidates you in a little. But if you can fucking kill that thing, this bitch is as good as dead. Even though those lips look great for kissing. But fuck that. She's Caegar's kismesis. Not yours. You just hope someone can nurse her back to health once you're through with her. But you wait. You're going to have to make the right move here.
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Post by anguis on Jul 24, 2012 21:01:30 GMT -6
======> ANGUIS: AkdnfeicneveYou're short-circuiting again oh gog what did you do what did you doooo she's going to kill everyone you just know it You breathe. You flinch at the noise and your snake snaps at the bitch, fangs extended and glistening. A warning, like her warning. You think your big boy can take a beating, but if he goes down, you're dead. It's a good thing you can heal your snakes. Too much, though, and you'd go down anyway. You breathe and smirk some more, trying your damnedest to look like you're not about to cry because you're so fucking scared. ANGUIS: I'd like to ssay it wass for the good of your health. ANGUIS: But I'd be lying. ANGUIS: Watching you walk around high than the fucking cloudss on Prosspit iss dissgussting. ANGUIS: Ssomeone could sslit your fucking throat and you wouldn't even notice. ANGUIS: Maybe ssobering up issn't ssuch a bad fucking idea. ANGUIS: Lucky for you. ANGUIS: I helped out with that. [/color][/center][/font]
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Post by lofora on Jul 24, 2012 21:19:40 GMT -6
==> Lofora: SET PHASERS TO KILL.
YOU FUCKING DO.
This bitch. This fucking bitch. Her snake snaps at you and you do not flinch. You'd almost welcome death. You're so scared at what's going to come. You were not supposed to sober up like this. You crack your neck. It was stiff before, but the sickening cracks that follow loosen it right up.
[/center] LOFORA: ✯ sliittiing thhr∞aats, hhuuhh? LOFORA: ✯ s∞uunds liikee aa GRAAND ffuuckiin iideeaa. LOFORA: ✯ giivee mee aa g∞∞d reeaas∞n whhyy ii shh∞uuldn't kiill yy∞uu riighht thhee ffuuck n∞w. LOFORA: ✯ aand iiff yy∞uu saayy caaeegaar's naamee ii'm juust g∞nnaa staart ffuuckiin swiingiin n∞w.
You swing the cactus once more into the wall, this time breaking through.
You've always been one kickass chillchick with your cactus.
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Post by anguis on Jul 24, 2012 21:34:11 GMT -6
======> ANGUIS: ATTACK MODE ENGAGEDYou're not just scared, now. You're angry. This bitch thinks she can kill you just like that? You have a fucking wall of scales and poison and angry snapping fangs beside you, and she has a fucking cactus. You wouldn't go down without a fight. When she drops the clownbitch's name it just makes you angrier, for no good reason other than you don't like her name. You still flinch when the wall crumbles, and you flinch from her screaming and neck cracking. It's instinct, and you hate it, and right now you seriously hate this bitch ANGUIS: I'd like to ssee you fucking try. ANGUIS: Pleasse. ANGUIS: I'm more likely to usse that bitch ass an excusse to beat you the fuck down. ANGUIS: Wouldn't that be a nice pressent for my lovely kissmessiss? ANGUIS: Her matessprit bloodied and broken and barely alive? ANGUIS: Or maybe your fetid fucking cadaver would ssuffice. ANGUIS: You can try to kill me. ANGUIS: But chancess are I'll kill you firsst. [/color][/center][/font]
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Post by lofora on Jul 24, 2012 21:42:25 GMT -6
==> Lofora: HATE.
There is nothing you hate more than this bitch.
[/center] LOFORA: ✯ yy∞uu hh∞neestlyy thhiink yy∞uu'd hhaavee aa ffuuckiing chhaancee aagaaiinst mee? LOFORA: ✯ whh∞ thhee ffuuck d∞ yy∞uu thhiink yy∞uu aaree, biitchh? LOFORA: ✯ yy∞uu'vee beeeen ffreeaakiing thhee eeveerl∞viing ffuuck ∞uut eeveeryy tiimee aa muusclee twiitchhees. LOFORA: ✯ yy∞uu'ree ffuuckiing teerriiffiieed. LOFORA: ✯ aas weell yy∞uu g∞gdaamn shh∞uuld.
But you don't do anything. You just stare at her. You hate her so much. But you don't actually want to swing at her? Maybe it's the snake. No, you're fine with death. Withdrawal is probably going to hurt worse. You have no idea what's going on right now. Maybe you're still high and this is all a bad dream.
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