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Post by anguis on Jun 15, 2012 21:46:16 GMT -6
======> ANGUIS: Your ships are conflicting. Crashing. Burning. What do you do?
Your name is ANGUIS CALIGO and you have some rumors to validate.
You've heard tales floating around. You're not sure who you heard them from or even when -- maybe it's your shipper instinct kicking in. All you know is that you have to be certain. It's all fine and well to theorize on your crackpairing section of wall, but you must maintain a certain kind of legitimacy. You're up to date. You know all the quadrants between all the trolls -- and some of the humans -- and you keep them meticulously recorded. It bothers you when you don't know.
You feel the warmth of a flushed quadrant emanating from the clownbitch and the soporwhore. Yet there is no fact.
This must be remedied. Immediately.
You begin your search for the soporwhore.
ANGUIS: Hey bitch. ANGUIS: Ssoporwhore. ANGUIS: Let'ss chat. [/color] [/size][/blockquote][/center]
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Post by lofora on Jun 15, 2012 21:52:48 GMT -6
==> Lofora: Walk.
You're walking. Where? Fuck if you know. You're walking wherever life takes you. You're just going with the flow. You don't actually know where you're going. You're hoping the flow will bring you back. You think you're lost. You've had one too many drinks of cactus juice after your encounter with Slaier. Sure, you seemed fine, but the second you were reminded of how everyone was dead... Shit, you reached right for your spiny elixir. And shit does that stuff taste good. But you're coming down. Hard.
Caegar would probably flip if she knew. You figure one day you should tell her. Just... Not now. A lot of things can happen not now.
Like Anguis. Talking to you. Calling you a fucking soporwhore. Wow. Awesome. You've never done anything involving the consumption of sopor because you know that shit rots you. The shit you do is a much safer alternative, though you don't think anybody knows. You intend to keep it that way.
[/center] LOFORA: ✯ ∞hh. uuhh. hheeyy. LOFORA: ✯ g∞∞d daayy t∞ yy∞uu, t∞∞. LOFORA: ✯ shhiit, whhaat's aa chhiick g∞ttaa d∞ t∞ waarraant aa greeeetiing liikee thhaat aar∞uund hheeree?
You hope this isn't a pattern. You don't remember interacting with Anguis a whole lot, especially shit like that. Somehow, you think this is tied to Caegar. Well, what the fuck ever. [/center]
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Post by anguis on Jun 15, 2012 22:03:13 GMT -6
======> ANGUIS: LEARN EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYTHING RIGHT FUCKING NOW
You can't. You gotta be smooth. Casual. No one must ever know about your shipping wall but Jegus are you dying to know.
You take a moment to admire Lofora's ability to be high as a kite and still function. You personally think she's on sopor -- her lusus must have been a dumbass -- but you could be wrong. You don't really care, as long as she doesn't go on a murder spree. That would definitely crash a few of your ships.
You're confused for a second, and then you remember that not everyone goes around calling everyone bitch and whore all the time. Except for the clownbitch.
You spend way too much time with her.
You also spend too much time internally monologuing. What a dramabitch you are.
ANGUIS: Ssorry. ANGUIS: No offensse I guessss? ANGUIS: Sso. ANGUIS: Uh. ANGUIS: What'ss been up with you. ANGUIS: You know. ANGUIS: Ssince we got here. [/color] [/size][/blockquote][/center]
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Post by lofora on Jun 15, 2012 22:11:17 GMT -6
==> Lofora: Forgive.
[/center] LOFORA: ✯ n∞nee taakeen. LOFORA: ✯ wee c∞∞l.
You personally enjoy your capacity to forgive and forget. That should probably be a saying somewhere.
You briefly consider her question and decide to leave out the part about the perfected supercacti. Skin as strong as steel and juice as strong as, shit, everything. Gog damn do you love cacti.
[/center] LOFORA: ✯ uuhh. yy∞uu kn∞w. LOFORA: ✯ thhee uusuuaal. LOFORA: ✯ hhaaviing t∞∞ muuchh tiimee ∞n myy hhaands. LOFORA: ✯ d∞iing thhiings wiithh pee∞plee. LOFORA: ✯ ∞hh aand ii saaveed aad∞niis' liiffee. LOFORA: ✯ thhaat shhiit waas straaiighht craayy. LOFORA: ✯ duudee aatee aa meeaan ffaaceeplaant ∞ffff thhee raaiil, naawmsaayyiin? LOFORA: ✯ hhaad t∞ beec∞mee aa ffuuckiin suupeerhheer∞ aand shhiit aand saavee hhiis aass. LOFORA: ✯ graappliing hh∞∞ks aand caapee aand aall. LOFORA: ✯ ffeelt straaiighht b∞ssliikee.
You figure it would be best not to mention Caegar. As far as you know, this is still a fairly down low thing. But shit, if she asks, you're gonna be fucked.
You'll take that chance. It's all about calculated risk.
[/center]
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Post by anguis on Jun 15, 2012 22:25:55 GMT -6
======> ANGUIS: Casually flip your shit.
You take a breath to calm your aching nerves, and you do not flip your shit. Your shit remains perfectly unflipped.
You're cool with the soporwhore. Great. It actually would be great if that fucking warmth wasn't there. Gogdamn fucking flushed feelings making you want to vomit, cry, and let your olive vascular system implode from the sheer emotion of it all. You love it and you hate it all at once.
You take another breath. Your shit is still unflipped.
Lofora is not forthcoming about the supposed matespritship. You're not sure whether to attribute that to cunning, stupidity, nonexistence, or sopor. If it is sopor. You're pretty sure it's sopor. Maybe you should call an intervention.
... Nah.
You are vaguely concerned about Adonis though. He's always patched you up when you were injured, and it kind of bothers you that he wouldn't contact you if he needed help.
Not much you can do about it now, though.
ANGUIS: Really? ANGUIS: Well. ANGUIS: At leasst he issn't dead. ANGUIS: What happened anyway? [/color] Excellent, you think. This is the perfect setup. Saving his life, that's pretty intense. It could even have the quiet warmth of a pale relationship -- a quick, easy way of getting her to talk about quadrants. You are a genius. You deserve awards. [/size][/blockquote][/center]
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Post by lofora on Jun 15, 2012 22:35:05 GMT -6
==> Lofora: Be smooth.
Fuck yeah. You win this round. Fucking subtle shit, that's what you're good at.
[/center] LOFORA: ✯ yyeeaahh. ii'm glaad. LOFORA: ✯ weell hhee ffliippeed hheeaad ∞veer shhiit-aall aaffteer deerpiing hhaardc∞ree ∞n aa m∞t∞rcyyclee. LOFORA: ✯ aappaareentlyy duudeer waas g∞iing hhaard ∞n thhee raaiil ff∞r aappr∞x eeveer. LOFORA: ✯ thheen eeveentuuaallyy thhee raaiil waas liikee "ii'm d∞nee wiithh yy∞uur shhiit" aand ffuuckiing gaavee uup. LOFORA: ✯ seent thhee p∞∞r duudeer fflyyiing aand, shh∞rtlyy aaffteer, ffaaceeplaantiing. LOFORA: ✯ ∞r maayybee iit waasn't ffaaceeplaantiing 'cuuz hhee ffuuckeed uup hhiis aarm ∞r s∞mee shhiit. LOFORA: ✯ seeee, aat thhee tiimee wee b∞thh hhaappeeneed t∞ bee iin aa meem∞ aand hhee waas liikee "∞hh g∞g" iin thhee meem∞ aand ii waas liikee "∞hh shhiit myy tuurn t∞ d∞ s∞meethhiing". LOFORA: ✯ s∞ ii diid s∞meethhiing thheen wee spraayypaaiinteed aa r∞∞m aand ii thhiink hhee g∞t suupeer ffuuckiing siillyy. LOFORA: ✯ iiff yy∞uu kn∞w whhaat ii meeaan.
You nod slowly. That's what happened. Yes. Super silly. Fuckin' lightweights.
[/center]
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Post by anguis on Jun 20, 2012 22:19:49 GMT -6
======> ANGUIS: Make a smooth transition.
You are the master of smooth transitions. No highblood bitch is going to be better than you in smoothness, oh hell no. You will triumph.
You tune out most of what she's saying. You like Adonis, sure, but he's alive and vaguely healthy and that's all that really matters. You don't need the details.
You do kind of remember getting a weird message from Adonis, though. He probably sent it when he was high on paint fumes. Excuse you, you mean silly. Yes. Silly.
Wow Lofora is such a bad influence. Poor dressboy probably had no idea what he was getting himself into.
ANGUIS: Uh yeah. ANGUIS: Ssure. ANGUIS: Ssilly. ANGUIS: I don't know though. ANGUIS: You ssaved hiss life. ANGUIS: That'ss. ANGUIS: Intensse. ANGUIS: Like. ANGUIS: Maybe even moirail intensse? [/color] It's not. Please. You're not some amateur. You're just fishing for information here. Ha. Fishing. You made a pun. ANGUIS: I mean. ANGUIS: You're pretty chill. ANGUIS: I'm ssure you've got your quadrantss all filled up. ANGUIS: Right? [/color] You are the smoothest. It is you. [/size][/blockquote][/center]
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Post by lofora on Jun 20, 2012 22:30:28 GMT -6
==> Lofora: Be smoothly oblivious.
Stunning success. You wonder how you keep winning so much. This is almost too easy. You would be suspicious, but you don't suspect Anguis to be up to anything. You barely know her. At least, as far as you know.
[/center] LOFORA: ✯ hhaahh, naahh. LOFORA: ✯ juust ∞nee ∞ff uus saaviing aan∞thheer ∞nee ∞ff uus ffr∞m deeaathh. LOFORA: ✯ thhaat's iit.
She then moves onto bigger and bolder things. You feel a bit nervous. So, it's obvious that you are going to have to tell her about Caegar. You just hope it isn't too awkward. [/center] LOFORA: ✯ uuhh, naahh. juust ∞nee. LOFORA: ✯ aand thhaat's aactuuaallyy kiind ∞ff aa suurpriisee t∞ mee. LOFORA: ✯ uuhh, thhee ffluushheed ∞nee. LOFORA: ✯ wiithh uuhh. LOFORA: ✯ guueess.
You smile. But on the inside, you know you just pussied out at the last second. Whatever. You're making this more interesting. Wait. It just comes to your mind now that you're going to make Anguis talk about her kismesis. The troll she hates the most.
You maintain your innocent smile, hoping things don't get too awkward too quickly. [/center]
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Post by anguis on Jun 27, 2012 4:17:29 GMT -6
======> ANGUIS: Smoothly BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THIS DUMBASS HIGHBLOOD
You don't. You have no idea why the fuck anyone would pity the clownbitch, but you must be professional. You are an expert shipper. You do not let your own relationships get in the way of your shipping.
You force your lips to curve into something between a smirk and a sneer. You're a big girl. You can handle this.
You don't actually give a flying fuck about anything she's saying that isn't quadrant-related. You have turned on just one track in your mind, and fuck if it isn't dead set on its course.
ANGUIS: The clownbitch. ANGUIS: Excusse me. ANGUIS: Caegar. ANGUIS: Right? [/color] You hardly ever use her name, and when you do, you're usually really pissed. It kind of hurts to say it properly, with absolutely emotional detachment. You really want to strangle a bitch. Snakes are great for strangling with. ANGUIS: Look I'm jusst curiouss. ANGUIS: I jusst want to know for. ANGUIS: Um. ANGUIS: Perssonal entertainment. [/color] You won't actually tell her about your wall. No one knows about your wall. No one will ever know about your wall.[/size][/blockquote][/center]
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Post by lofora on Jun 27, 2012 12:01:22 GMT -6
==> Lofora: Smoothly what.
First fucking try. Correct. Now, she had to be expecting a curveball or some shit. How in the everloving fuck did she get Caegar on the first guess? For a flushed quadrant? Something seemed... Weird. Oh, wait, Caegar must have already told her or some shit. You let it slide. Partially because you feel really tense. Like, really fucking tense. Anguis makes you nervous. She's fucking creepy. You pause, and she explains why she wants to know.
And now you're really weirded out by Anguis. Personal entertainment? What, does she make little tiny statues out of everybody and play games with them based on quadrants?
[/center] LOFORA: ✯ uuhh, yyeeaahh. caaeegaar. LOFORA: ✯ g∞∞d guueess.
You offer a sheepish grin and a thumbs up. You get the feeling she's going to hit you. [/center] LOFORA: ✯ aals∞, uuhh, peers∞naal eenteertaaiinmeent? hh∞w s∞?
This is too awkward to be actually happening. You conclude that this is a nightmare. [/center]
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Post by anguis on Jun 27, 2012 16:45:09 GMT -6
======> ANGUIS: Be satisfied.
You're satisfied.
You offer a weak half-grin that looks more like a grimace in return to her thumbs-up. This is painfully awkward.
You're a real smooth customer, snakebitch. Congrats.
ANGUIS: Yess. ANGUIS: An excellent guessss. [/color] It pains you to act like this was all guesswork. You spent hours doing research, subjecting yourself to other peoples' presence just so you could even form the idea. You are nothing if not thorough. Even your speculations aren't based on guessing. You are almost ashamed that you are acting this way. Oh, the things you do for your wall. And speaking of your wall. Fuck. No one can know of your wall. ANGUIS: I jusst. ANGUIS: Like to know thingss. ANGUIS: That'ss all. ANGUIS: I like to keep track of what everyone'ss doing. ANGUIS: No big deal. [/color] That was close. Hopefully she won't bring up any more awkward subjects. You think you're starting to creep her out. You're okay with that.[/size][/blockquote][/center]
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Post by lofora on Jun 27, 2012 17:26:05 GMT -6
==> Lofora: Attempt to relax.
Nope. Yeah, not happening. She tries to do something that may resemble smiling, but that doesn't work out too well. She certainly is a weird chick. She acknowledges that it's a guess. Uh.
[/center] LOFORA: ✯ s∞... diid caaeegaar teell yy∞uu ∞r s∞meethhiing?
You hope that bringing her up won't land you a punch in the face.
She says that she likes to know things. That's very weird, in a sort of pseudo-stalker-ish way. You brush it off, however, as you remember your hobby: drinking cactus juice until you're fucking gone.
Much more glamorous, in your humble opinion. [/center] LOFORA: ✯ ∞hh. thhaat's c∞∞l. LOFORA: ✯ s∞... d∞ yy∞uu kn∞w aall thhee tr∞lls' quuaadraants ∞r s∞meethhiing?
You give a good-spirited laugh, trying to lighten the mood. If you only knew. [/center]
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Post by anguis on Jun 27, 2012 18:11:22 GMT -6
======> ANGUIS: Twitch.
It's not a voluntary thing, but sure. You twitch. Just a slight little eye quiver and that's it.
This chick is making you nervous. She knows something. You know she knows something. You think she knows you know she knows something.
Your eyes narrow.
ANGUIS: No. ANGUIS: We don't talk much. ANGUIS: I'm jusst. ANGUIS: Perceptive. [/color] You twitch again. You can't really help it. She's freaking you out. You're kind of flipping your shit. This is bad this is really really bad holy fuck fuck fuck ANGUIS: Yeah cool. ANGUIS: Ssuper cool. ANGUIS: No I don't. ANGUIS: I don't know jack sshit about sshit. ANGUIS: I'm jusst trying to catch the fuck up. ANGUIS: That'ss all. [/color] You fight back a strangled laugh, but a high-pitched giggle slips out anyway -- oh gog you're so freaked out. You can't run, though, because then she'll know that something's up. She can't know. No one can know.You decide to fight fire with fire. This soporwhore needs to keep her nose out of your fucking business. She's picking up bad habits from the clownbitch. It occurs to you that you're a giant hypocrite. You don't actually care. ANGUIS: I don't know much about you Lofora. ANGUIS: What are you into anyway? ANGUIS: Out of curioussity. [/color][/center][/size][/blockquote]
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Post by lofora on Jun 27, 2012 18:19:55 GMT -6
==> Lofora: ATTEMPT TO RELAX.
It is REALLY not working out for you right now. She's perceptive? That's... Cool.
[/center] LOFORA: ✯ thhaat's... thhaat's c∞∞l. LOFORA: ✯ thhaat muust bee aa thhiing thhaat iis uuseeffuul iin siituuaatii∞ns.
You nod slowly. What is even going on anymore. She's getting twitchy, too. What the fuck?
You hold up your hands, trying to at least calm her down a bit. [/center] LOFORA: ✯ ∞kaayy, thhaat's c∞∞l t∞∞. LOFORA: ✯ beeiing iin thhee kn∞w iis aa g∞∞d thhiing t∞ bee. LOFORA: ✯ ii meeaan n∞t thhaat ii'd kn∞w ∞r aanyythhiing buut iit's g∞∞d thhaat yy∞uu aaree.
She giggles. Jegus fuck you need someone to save you. You can't just leave. That's rude as shit. You have to stay here and... Indulge her. What, is Anguis stalking you now or something? You think she probably isn't. But you'll think twice about falling asleep in the hot tub. You don't want any racy pictures floating around. No, come on, Anguis wouldn't do that to you.
Jegus you hope not. [/center] LOFORA: ✯ aart. LOFORA: ✯ thhee beeaauutyy ∞ff liiffee aand iits creeaatii∞ns. LOFORA: ✯ thhaat s∞rt ∞ff thhiing.
You think that just about sums it all up, subtly including the cactus thing without actually mentioning it. You don't like lying. But you will never tell her about the cactus thing.
She will never know. [/center]
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Post by anguis on Jul 4, 2012 21:47:03 GMT -6
======> ANGUIS: FLIP OUT LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER
Okay her 'placate the crazy bitch' act is starting to tick you off, and also make you really fucking nervous. How much does she know? You're acting like, well, a crazy bitch, and the fact that she's still around and dealing with this bullshit is setting off all your fucking radars.
What does she know?
ANGUIS: Right. ANGUIS: That'ss cool. ANGUIS: Art'ss pretty cool. [/color] You are one step away from hyperventilating and vomiting all over Lofora. That would not be good. At all. This whore is the clownbitch's matesprit and you just know she would get back at you for it. ANGUIS: Sso uh. ANGUIS: Yeah. ANGUIS: I'm jusst gonna. ANGUIS: Go bye. [/color] You abscond like a floppyearbeast running from a howlbeast, practically sprinting back to the transportalizer that will take you anywhere away from the creepy highblood whore. You have shit to settle with her, you decide. But for now, you'll just update your wall.[/center][/size][/blockquote]
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