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Post by anguis on Apr 11, 2012 14:29:53 GMT -6
==> BE THE NEUROTIC SNAKEBITCH.
You are now the neurotic snakebitch.
Your name is ANGUIS CALIGO and you're currently flipping the fuck out. Of course, you're almost always flipping the fuck out, but this is DIFFERENT. There are STRANGE NOISES coming from that room where all the other trolls do their trolling, and you are NERVOUS. Okay, you're almost ALWAYS NERVOUS, but you're even MORE NERVOUS THAN YOU USUALLY ARE right now.
Okay. You take a DEEP BREATH. You can do this. You walk in.
Fuck. You can't do this.
The STRANGE NOISES you heard are coming from a highblood. And not just any highblood, but CAEGAR ENDSIE. And you are completely convinced that this CLOWNBITCH is going to kill EVERYONE on this fucking meteor. At some point.
That point is not this point, apparently. Because you are watching the CLOWNBITCH retch her guts out into a load gaper, and she is SCREAMING OBSCENITIES in the process.
You are AFRAID FOR YOUR LIFE. |
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Post by vio on Apr 11, 2012 18:41:22 GMT -6
==> BE THE CLOWNBITCH.
Your name is CAEGAR ENDSIE and you've just PUKED. Panting, bent over the toilet, wrung low by a filthy fucking mutant, you hate ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.
When your nutrient sac has finally settled and your endless flow of invectives has trickled down to a constant sputtering of curses, you finally feel confident enough to look up from your shrine.
The first thing you lay your eyes on is ANGUIS CALICO. The GRASSBLOODED BITCH who just RUINED YOUR LIFE. You just hate her SO MUCH.
You get up, taking a moment to find your feet. Your think pan is full of RED. All you see is RED. Filthy MUTANT RED.
You advance on her, grabbing for her filthy lying throat.
CAEGAR: This is all your motherfucking fault.
CAEGAR: Somehow, this is your fault.
CAEGAR: I SHOULD KILL YOU RIGHT HERE |
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Post by anguis on Apr 11, 2012 18:58:37 GMT -6
==> ANGUIS: Take a deep breath.
You obviously had good reason to be AFRAID FOR YOUR LIFE.
The clownbitch's HAND is on your fucking THROAT and you think you're going to FLIP THE FUCK OUT even more than you ALREADY WERE.
She is touching you.
She is TOUCHING you and she is WARM and you are WARM and you are EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE with this situation. Your NUTRIENT SAC is twisting and turning and you think you're going to MAKE LIKE A CLOWNBITCH and vomit up a whole bunch of MIRACLES in a very NONMIRACULOUS MANNER.
ANGUIS: What the hell are you even talking about.
ANGUIS: I didn't do anything you huge bitch.
ANGUIS: Now get your hand off my fucking throat before I bring out my ssnakess. |
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Post by vio on Apr 11, 2012 19:07:49 GMT -6
==> Caegar: Flip out.
Disgusted, you throw the bitch to the side as if she weighed nothing.
You kick her in the ribs while she's down.
CAEGAR: v You know exactly what I'm motherfucking talking about, wicked sister. v
CAEGAR: v BRIGHT v
CAEGAR: v RED v
CAEGAR: v BLOOD v
CAEGAR: v Every single one of them. Every single motherfucking one. v
CAEGAR: v A universe full of mutants and freaks. You've been talking to them. The red motherfucker up and told me everything, grassblood. v
CAEGAR: v Leafblood. v
CAEGAR: v MOTHERFUCKING GUTTERBLOODED WIGGLER v
CAEGAR: v How many v
CAEGAR: v MOTHERFUCKING TIMES v
CAEGAR: v Do I have to tell you to keep your filthy little hands off of what's mine? v
CAEGAR: v What are you planning, wiggler? v
CAEGAR: v WHAT ARE YOU MOTHERFUCKING PLANNING v |
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Post by anguis on Apr 11, 2012 19:21:56 GMT -6
==> ANGUIS: Raise your fist in righteous fury.
That would be a silly yet appropriate thing to do. You almost consider it, but the CLOWNBITCH is busy throwing you around like you don't weigh ANYTHING, which is ALMOST ENTIRELY ACCURATE.
You can't help it. You're a SKINNY BITCH. Such is life when you vomit anytime you try to DIGEST something even remotely WARM.
She kicked you in the ribs. What a BITCH.
You pull a BATTLESNAKE out of your SNAKEKIND, and you use it to latch on to the bitch's ankle and DRAG HER DOWN WITH YOU.
ANGUIS: I haven't been talking to anyone.
ANGUIS: I don't talk to anyone on thiss fucking meteor you ignorant bitch.
ANGUIS: And there aren't any red motherfuckerss here anyway.
ANGUIS: What the fuck are you even fucking talking about.
ANGUIS: Ssweet jeguss you're sso fucking sself-centered.
ANGUIS: I'm not planning anything.
ANGUIS: Unlike you and your fucking highblood gathering or whatever the fuck it iss. [/color][/size][/blockquote][/center] |
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Post by vio on Apr 11, 2012 19:54:54 GMT -6
==> Caegar: Flirt.
You fall to the floor with a thud. You immediately launch yourself at Anguis, climbing on top of her and pinning her to the floor, again wrapping your hands around her neck. You snarl, baring your wicked fangs at her.
CAEGAR: v The aliens, nooksucker. v
CAEGAR: v THE ONES WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE RULING v
CAEGAR: v THE ONES WHO PUT US HERE v
CAEGAR: v IT'S ALL THEIR MOTHERFUCKING FAULT v
CAEGAR: v YOU TALKED TO THEM v
CAEGAR: v SPEWED YOUR UNTRUTHS ALL UP IN THEIR USELESS THINK PANS v
CAEGAR: v WHY DO YOU ALWAYS RUIN ABSOLUTELY MOTHERFUCKING EVERYTHING v
CAEGAR: v I HATE YOU v
CAEGAR: v HONK v |
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Post by anguis on Apr 11, 2012 20:15:22 GMT -6
==> ANGUIS: Flirt back.
What the fuck is it with people and topping you. You hate being topped.
And being touched. Fuck she's touching you again and she is TOO FUCKING WARM.
You have the urge to vomit. You punch the BITCH in the face instead.
ANGUIS: I don't know anything about any fucking alienss you sstupid whore.
ANGUIS: I don't know anything about anything becausse nobody fucking tellss me anything.
ANGUIS: Ssylph of Void.
ANGUIS: Left in the fucking dark.
ANGUIS: Fucking hilariouss right.
ANGUIS: If anything.
ANGUIS: You.
ANGUIS: Have ruined.
ANGUIS: My.
ANGUIS: Fucking.
ANGUIS: Life.
ANGUIS: You sstupid highblooded ssuperior bitch.
ANGUIS: I hate you more.
ANGUIS: I hate you sso much fucking more.
ANGUIS: And keep your fucking honkss to yoursself you clown-obssessssed freak. [/color][/size][/blockquote][/center] |
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Post by vio on Apr 11, 2012 20:46:48 GMT -6
==> Caegar: Be flattered.
The bitch somehow manages to land a solid hit on your face. You feel a slow trickle of blood start flowing from your nose.
The worthless gutterblood just made you motherfucking bleed.
You didn't think you could get any angrier, then she proved you wrong. Which just makes you even angrier.
You backhand her across the face.
CAEGAR: v I'LL HONK AS MUCH AS I MOTHERFUCKING PLEASE, BITCH v
CAEGAR: v HONK HONK MOTHERFUCKING HONK v
CAEGAR: v IGNORANCE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING EXCUSE v
CAEGAR: v Saying the demon is Jack? Really? v
CAEGAR: v HOW MOTHERFUCKING STUPID CAN YOU GET v
CAEGAR: v THIS IS WHY WE DON'T TELL YOU SHIT v
CAEGAR: v YOU STUPID v
CAEGAR: v ROT-PANNED v
CAEGAR: v GRUBFUCKING v
CAEGAR: v NOOKSUCKING v
CAEGAR: v WIGGLER v
And then you lean down and kiss her.
Because you know she fucking hates that. |
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Post by anguis on Apr 11, 2012 21:16:04 GMT -6
==> ANGUIS: Resist urge to vomit.
You fail.
She kisses you and you retch, rolling over because you are a DECENT PERSON and also because the CLOWNBITCH would probably kill you if you vomited on her. You rather LIKE LIVING, THANKS.
So you shove her off you and vomit all over the floor, and by the time you're done you're almost breathing too hard to speak and you're shaking all over.
ANGUIS: Fuck.
ANGUIS: Fuck you.
ANGUIS: Don't fucking touch me I can't sstand it okay.
ANGUIS: And I sstill.
ANGUIS: Don't know what the fuck you're talking about. [/color] You touch your face where she backhanded you. What a bitch. ANGUIS: You'll fucking pay for that.
ANGUIS: When I can sstand. [/color][/size][/blockquote][/center] |
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Post by vio on Apr 12, 2012 13:50:20 GMT -6
==> Caegar: Ask her out.
You look down on the pathetic grassblood with contempt.
You push her into her own vomit with your foot.
CAEGAR: v Well, what are you waiting for? v
CAEGAR: v EXACT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING TARIFF v
CAEGAR: v But not now. v
CAEGAR: v You're filthy. Inside and out. v
CAEGAR: v Tonight. My room. v
CAEGAR: v I'll bring the candles. v
CAEGAR: v You bring the pail. v |
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Post by anguis on Apr 12, 2012 20:27:14 GMT -6
==> ANGUIS: Accept invitation with grace.
You look up at her with spades in your eyes and puke clinging to your hair. Gog you fucking hate her.
You especially hate that sometimes she makes you actually want to be touched.
ANGUIS: Fuck you.
ANGUIS: I'll be there. [/color][/size][/blockquote][/center] |
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Post by vio on Apr 12, 2012 21:01:10 GMT -6
==> Caegar: Depart with tact and grace.
You look down at Anguis, contempt and loathing burning in your eyes.
You've never hated anyone this much in your entire life.
CAEGAR: v Of course you motherfucking will. I wasn't motherfucking asking. v
You kick her in the head one last time for good luck and leave, flipping her off on your way out.
All in all you think that went pretty well. |
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Post by anguis on Apr 13, 2012 21:44:52 GMT -6
==> ANGUIS: Gather yourself and exit with dignity.
You stand up and wipe your mouth, clenching your fists to keep from trembling too much. You never know when this bitch will decide to up and cull everyone, and you seriously doubt that something as trivial -- at this point, anyway -- as a quadrant pairing will keep her from killing you.
You need to cool down. Meditate. Try to relax so you don't vomit all over yourself again later.
You head back to your respiteblock with a palm on your face and various expletives on your lips, and all you can think is that you seriously need an austispice, or you're going to murder a bitch.
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