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Post by Finn Innigan on Jul 8, 2012 19:28:40 GMT -6
==> Finn: Be the hero. Get the girl.
There's really nothing for you to be a hero for right now, because jesus christ is Venn's land lame as shit. Seriously, meadows? Really? You didn't think Venn was a tall-grass-and-gently-swaying-leaves kinda dude.
It is nice, though. Peaceful. Especially compared to your flaming hellhole of a planet.
Wait, get the girl? What girl? You are completely certain that there is not a single girl that you want to get and fuck no it is definitely not a sassy bitch who may or may not have blogged concern about your mortal well being and fuck no did you not think that maybe it was kind of completely sweet.
Sassy bitches. Fucking up your life.
==> Finn: Explain how you got here!
You don't take commands from bitchy arrows. Everything that could possibly be important in regards to how you got here has obviously already been covered.
In short, though, you can pester bitches through your COMPUTAGS -- currently hanging around your neck -- and your arm is STILL BROKEN but you've built up enough MANGRIT to almost completely ignore the pain. It's bent at an awkward angle, but you stopped giving a fuck about that before it even happened.
You also have some totally sweet shit that you alchemized, and you are not wearing a shirt. It was hot as balls in LOJAF, okay. No one can judge you.
And the last of these totally unnecessary updates: you have almost completely maxed out your echeladder. There's only a few rungs left, the closest being ECTOBIOLOBABYSITTER. Fuck if you know what that means. Needless to say, you are incredibly STRONG and incredibly FAST.
==> Finn: Wander.
Sure.
LAND OF WIND AND DANCE
There are purple sheep and some trees. Lots of grass. No hulks to speak of, yet. You take out your MAN'S BEST FRIEND anyway, just in case. Unlimited ammo. Fuck yeah.
You start wandering. |
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Post by ivy on Jul 8, 2012 20:01:54 GMT -6
==> Lexi: Fight.
Jesus christ, these monsters just don't end! They just keep coming and you are managing to hold them off, but they're relentless in their attacks!
==> Lexi: Backtrack.
Oh, right.
You've been hanging around your land, LOWAD, for a while, and when you first arrived everything was eerily calm, so you alchemized some sweet gear. But all of a sudden the monsters were attacking your house in waves, and you haven't been able to catch a break. Ross has been building up your house, but you couldn't really communicate with him due to your current ongoing predicament. It's a really good thing you have Dyta here to help you out. She's really handy with that ladle.
A monster tries to blind side you, and you blast him to bits with your wind staff. Best weapon ever. Best use of blow-dryer.
Even though the monsters are sort of pests, you've been grinding the shit out of them, getting you lots of grist and lots of experience. You're really far up in your echeladder, but there's still a few rungs left. You can't really be bothered to remember what they are right now because-
HOLY SHIT, WHERE THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM?
DIE, FUCKER!
You shoot down that giant, heavy, electric skeletal panda kid with railguns and bamboo rods with your pressurized airgun. And when you say air gun, it literally shoots pressurized bursts of air that can dent fucking metal.
Best use of blow-dryer ever.
You spare a glance at Dyta, to check how she's fairing. A tree behind her is on fire, and leaning precariously, but you sort of ignore it in favor of the imps barraging her. You shoot a couple down, but the air loses power as it travels, and only stuns them for a while. Oh well, it helped a bit.
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Post by dyta on Jul 8, 2012 20:13:30 GMT -6
==> Dyta: Help out.You are helping Lexi fight off hordes of monster things. You guess? You actually have no idea what's happening. But you've been ladling things like there's no tomorrow. This game sure is weird. Innovative, though, since it even incorporates real-life situations! So cool. You're completely unaware of the burning tree, but you dispatch all of the imps that Lexi stunned. You wave at her, smiling, holding the ladle. DYTA: i'm glad you still think of me!
DYTA: this is exciting, isn't it?
DYTA: and here i thought i wouldn't be able to play this game and you'd hole up in your room for hours.
You smile, brushing a bit of hair behind your ear and catching your breath. All this monster fighting has really tired you out! DYTA: oh, lexi, one quick thing i just wanted t-
The tree then falls on you. DEAD. [/center] |
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Post by ivy on Jul 8, 2012 20:30:17 GMT -6
==> Lexi: Reject reality and substitute your own.
You can't do that!
But holy shit, you wish you could. No. No no no, this wasn't happening. That- no. Absolutely not.
LEXI:
LEXI:
LEXI: no
LEXI: Dyta
LEXI: DYYYTAAA!!!
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You scream her name and blast the fuck out of these goddamn monsters, clearing a path for you to sprint to her side.
LEXI: no
LEXI: no no no!
LEXI: This can't happen, no!!!
You struggle to push the tree off of her body, but you can't manage, and wail incomprehensibly. You shoot at a couple more monsters, killing them, but you cant even stand to collect the grist. You collapse next to your fallen guardian, tears streaming down your cheeks.
Everything is lost.
If you died now, you would be totally okay with that.
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Post by Finn Innigan on Jul 8, 2012 20:40:06 GMT -6
==> Finn: Continue wandering.
Holy fuck arrow, you get it, you're supposed to wander the fuck aroHFUCK THAT IS A GIANT FUCKING MOB OF MONSTERS
==> Finn: BE THE HERO.
YOU'RE BEING THE HERO
You go as FAST AS YOU MOTHERFUCKING CAN to the -- oh shit that is a fancy fucking house -- HOUSE that is being assaulted by monsters. You use your STRENGTH and your SPEED to go up VARIOUS LEDGES to reach the ROOF, where you find a MOB OF HULKS accosting a BLOND GIRL crying over a TREE.
What? Why the fuck is she crying over a OH there's a person under there. Shit.
You use the MAN'S BEST FRIEND to take out the hulks closest to the girl and go over to her. You look at her, you look at the tree and the woman crushed beneath it, and you look at the panda floating behind the girl, and slowly the gears start to turn in your head.
==> Finn: DO SOMETHING RIGHT FOR A CHANGE YOU FUCKING MORON
Your arm cracks in an unhealthy-sounding and incredibly painful way as you heave the tree off the woman and into a fresh wave of hulks, but as you lift the dead woman, it cracks again and instantly feels much better. Your first instinct is to toss the woman at the panda, but then you think that maybe the blond girl wouldn't like that too much, so you carry the woman over to the panda and gently -- or as gently as you can -- place her in instead.
You think you may have done something right for a change. |
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Post by dytasprite on Jul 8, 2012 20:57:13 GMT -6
==> Dyta: Be prototyped.
Gently.
==> Dytasprite: Have a new body. [/b] You do. You are a faint lavender-ish color. And you have panda ears, and a spot on your right eye. And suddenly you know everything. But you know you aren't supposed to tell Lexi everything. DYTASPRITE: oh.
DYTASPRITE: oh my.
DYTASPRITE: did i just
DYTASPRITE: rolls
You roll. That is so much fun. DYTASPRITE: get... crushed? by?
DYTASPRITE: oh my. this is certainly quite the development.
DYTASPRITE: i'm assuming you're the one to thank, young man, so thank you very much.
You smile at Finn.[/font][/center] |
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Post by ivy on Jul 8, 2012 21:12:44 GMT -6
==> Lexi: Be awestruck.
Psh. Done and done.
==> Lexi: Reunite with your maid.
You totally brush past the stranger for a moment to stand up and hug your maid, even though she feels a little ghosty.
LEXI: Dyta!!!
LEXI: Oh my gosh, Dyta, you're alive, you're okay!
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You have stopped crying, but your cheeks still have tear streaks on them, so you quickly wipe them away with your hand. You probably look like a mess right now, but you can't bring yourself to care all too much.
You are so overjoyed, before you even realize what you are doing, you hug the shit out of the stranger that just brought your maid back to life.
This dude right here is amazing. Dude of the year award, hands down.
LEXI: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!
LEXI: Thank you like, so so so much!
LEXI: Thank you!!!
LEXI: I...I don't know how to thank you enough!
You really wish you could say thank you a thousand times without it ending up sounding sarcastic, but you are just really that grateful. You release the stranger, and smile gratefully at him.
LEXI: Oh, uh,
LEXI: What's your name, by the way?
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Post by Finn Innigan on Jul 8, 2012 21:26:24 GMT -6
==> Finn: Be embarrassed.
You are incredibly fucking embarrassed.
==> Finn: Awkwardly do something that doesn't make you look like a total idiot.
You're not sure you can do that. Your cheeks are flaming cherry-red, and you can't bring yourself to look at the woman you brought back from the dead or the girl who is currently hugging you. You also can't help but note how nice her hair smells. It's just right there under your nose, and you're breathing through your nose, and fuck you're such a creepy fucking bastard.
It occurs to you that maybe this isn't Venn's land. You're pretty sure Venn isn't a pretty girl. Or a girl at all for that matter.
You awkwardly pat the girl on the back once.
You find yourself wishing you had put your shirt back on before.
==> Finn: Introduce yourself.
You clear your throat and tug on your DOG TAGS turned COMPUTAGS and run a hand through your hair. This is incredibly awkward for you.
You haven't been hugged in years.
FINN: uh
FINN: no problem
FINN: im finn
FINN: hi
The way this girl talks sounds weirdly familiar, but you can't quite place it. Whatthefuckever.
FINN: and youre...? |
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Post by dytasprite on Jul 8, 2012 21:35:31 GMT -6
==> Dyta: Be awkward.You're hugged and you hug Lexi back, but it feels a bit weird. Like you're sort of... A ghost? But you can't stop smiling. You died, you really did. But you're back. Back to help Lexi! But you quickly begin to be awkward. Because Lexi, your Lexi, who you've known for so, so long, is now hugging a shirtless man with an eyepatch. You understand that she's happy, and that you should be happy you're alive because of him, but... DYTASPRITE: ah... corka. i, ah...
DYTA: never-mind.
She appears to be... Having fun? Or, something. You're not exactly sure what is happening. Your eyes shift back and forth between the two of them. DYTASPRITE: ah.. should i just
DYTASPRITE: rolls
DYTASPRITE: leave you alone?
DYTASPRITE: or, ah...
Of course, you rolled as you said 'rolls', as you always do when you say that. [/center] |
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Post by ivy on Jul 8, 2012 21:43:38 GMT -6
==> Lexi: Become really fucking embarrassed.
You just hugged a shirtless dude.
A shirtless dude who is probably Finn-fucking-Innigan.
Holy shit.
You release Finn and step back a moment, sparing Dyta a glance as you internally panic, and stutter out your response.
LEXI: W-wait.
LEXI: Like,
LEXI: Finn Innigan??
LEXI: As in...
LEXI: Cali's...brother?
LEXI: oh my god.
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You casually have an internal freak out, but mostly freeze up on the outside. It merits restating, that you, Lexi Collins, have just hugged a sexy as FUCK shirtless Finn Innigan. The dude who likes you. The dude who you are interested in, but not quite sure you like.
You feel the intense urge to abscond out of this mess, but your legs are frozen.
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Post by Finn Innigan on Jul 8, 2012 21:55:08 GMT -6
==> Finn: BE INCREDIBLY FUCKING EMBARRASSED
YOU ARE STILL INCREDIBLY FUCKING EMBARRASSED
==> Finn: Try to figure out who this girl is.
Okay, she obviously knows you. She's probably a friend of Cali's.
Everyone's a fucking friend of Cali's jesus h fucking christ
You don't know why she's flipping out so much, though.
Well, okay, you realize that you're a scary motherfucker, but don't people usually run from scary motherfuckers? She's just staying right the fuck there.
Jesus christ she sounds really fucking familiOH SHIT
Your mouth drops, and you point at her, and you look at the purple woman -- Dyta, you think her name is -- and you look at the girl, and you think you know who she is, and
oh
fuck
FINN: oh
FINN: fuck
FINN: sassy fucking bitch
FINN: okay
FINN: im gone
You try to abscond the fuck out of this fucking mess, but you can't actually move.
You stare at Lexi instead. |
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Post by dytasprite on Jul 8, 2012 22:02:27 GMT -6
==> Dyta: Be the third wheel.There you go. You watch Lexi freak out. DYTASPRITE: are you okay, dear?
DYTASPRITE: ...lexi?
Then Finn begins to be all sorts of inappropriate. DYTASPRITE: excuse me, mr. finn.
DYTASPRITE: i'm going to have to ask you to
DYTASPRITE: rolls
DYTASPRITE: apologize.
You ball your little hands into tiny fists as you roll, trying to be angry but not getting as steamed as you should because you always feel full of joy for some reason. If you knew, you would attribute that to the panda. [/center] |
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Post by ivy on Jul 8, 2012 22:39:54 GMT -6
==> Lexi: Remain calm.
Ha ha. Real funny joke you got there, arrow.
You still try to keep calm. You're a little confused because Finn just said he would leave but he's still here. You guess you aren't complaining? Things are really awkward right now, and you are at a total loss for what to say.
He also called you sassy fucking bitch, which you have mixed feelings about. On one side, you don't like being called a bitch, but on the other, its nice to see he openly admits his defeat to your sass-superiority.
You still have no idea what to do. You give him an appraising look, sweeping your eyes over his toned figure quickly, so it doesn't look like you're ogling him.
Because you are most certainly not ogling Finn Innigan.
You are...appraising him.
In a non-judgmental way.
And definitely in a non-ogling way.
LEXI: ...Er...
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Wow. Is that the best you can do? Really? Come on, be a little coherent for once.
You put your hands on your hips to show you're totally in control.
Even if you aren't completely in control on the inside.
LEXI: My name is Lexi, not sassy fucking bitch, Finn!
LEXI: Rude!
...Yeah that's the best you can muster.
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Post by Finn Innigan on Jul 8, 2012 23:02:07 GMT -6
==> Finn: ABSCOND
YOU CANNOT ABSCOND
==> Finn: Talk to her in a calm, rational, mature fashion.
Yes, you will do that, because you are such a calm, rational, mature person.
Yeahno.
You hold up your hands to placate Dyta, employing the universal "woah dude chill the fuck out" gesture.
FINN: uh
FINN: fuck
FINN: sorry, miss, uh
FINN: dyta, right
FINN: i cant really help it
FINN: i got a foul fuckin mouth
FINN: so, uh
FINN: sorry in advance?
You notice Lexi not-ogling you and kinda subtly flex, because goddamn your muscles are your only redeeming quality right now are you really need to fucking flaunt them.
But then she says something that isn't flipping the fuck out, and you kind of half-grin, and suddenly your stomach's in knots. Sassy fucking bitch.
FINN: right miss lexi
FINN: i can have fantastic fuckin manners when i want to
FINN: should i get my monocle and teaset
FINN: have a classy fuckin sitdown on this lovely afternoon |
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Post by dytasprite on Jul 8, 2012 23:08:57 GMT -6
==> Dyta: Assume teenage love at first sight.That is the only natural conclusion. But still. DYTASPRITE: lexi! language!
DYTASPRITE: i did not raise you to use such terms.
DYTASPRITE: rolls
DYTASPRITE: rolls
You execute the dangerously cute 2x ROLL COMBO and address Finn. DYTASPRITE: yes, it's dyta.
DYTASPRITE: and i accept your apology.
DYTASPRITE: just please try to keep it to a minimum if that is a thing you can do with relative ease.
However, when Finn mentions tea, you do not get the sarcasm and you gasp, suddenly excited. DYTASPRITE: that sounds like a wonderful idea, finn!
DYTASPRITE: what a great way to sit down and
DYTASPRITE: rolls~
DYTASPRITE: get to know each-other.
DYTASPRITE: what kind of tea would you two like?
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