|
|
Post by Finn Innigan on Jul 10, 2012 16:24:37 GMT -6
==> Finn: Relax.
How can you relax? You're gonna get your ass so fucking rejected. She's going to dropkick your heart all the way to fucking Texas, and you can't even say you didn't see it coming. This was why you did NOT want to have this fucking conversation. This is beyond awkward. You just want to take the tree that crushed Dyta and make it crush you. Maybe you'll fling yourself off the roof. You'll just kind of casually step over and fall. You do have shitty depth perception, it's probably bound to happen anyway.
FINN:
You can't say anything. You still can't look at her.
But then she keeps talking, which you didn't expect, and when she stops you're pretty sure that your entire goddamn system just gave up and shut down.
You don't know what to say.
She thinks you're a good guy. That, for some reason, hit you even harder than her rushed confession, and it's all you can focus on. She thinks you're good.
==> Finn: Tell her the truth.
You don't. You should, you really should tell her that you are just a giant fucking bag of dicks and you're more likely to leave her broken and bleeding than make her happy, but you don't. You're a selfish bastard, but you guess you're okay with that.
==> Finn: Breathe.
You can breathe. The elephant has lifted its fat ass off your chest, and you can finally breathe properly. You straighten up all the way, and you put your hands back in your pockets and you finally look her in the fucking eye, and you smile. It's not a smirk or a grin or an all-the-better-to-eat-you-with smile, but the true, genuine article. It feels weird. Good weird, though. Like you could maybe get used to this weird.
You start to say something -- not that you have any idea of what you're going to say -- but then your COMPUTAGS buzz against your chest, and there's just no ignoring the damn things.
FINN: son of a bitch
FINN: sorry
FINN: just
FINN: let me tell this needy douchenozzle to fuck off
FINN: one sec
You do some weird shit with your TAGS that you don't really know how to describe, and a screen pops up in front of you. Ocia's chumhandle is blinking. Of course.
FINN: jesus fucking christ
FINN: you needy douchenozzle
FINN: fuck off
FINN: ugh
FINN: fine ill build for you just
FINN: one sec
You flip the bird to your screen, even though you're almost positive your psychic bro -- who you're still pissed at, by the way -- can't see you, and you turn back to Lexi. You leave the screen open.
FINN: sorry
FINN: fuckin sister-dating bastard needs me to do shit for him
FINN: ill only be a minute or two
FINN: sorry
FINN: again
FINN: im going to stop apologizing now
As you work, you mumble random shit about how sister-dating bastards shouldn't get jack shit for help, they should just get flaming volcanoes and awkward situations and a free castration with any beatdown of their choosing. You make sure to make the climb as difficult as fucking possible, and you use up as much of his grist as you can, until finally you're done.
FINN: there you prick
FINN: i hope your psiionics break and you fall and crack your head open
FINN: real talk tho, good luck with the land shit
FINN: try not to get killed
FINN: also
FINN: fuck you
FINN: bro
You close the screen and turn back to Lexi, properly this time.
FINN: he says hi
You don't tell her what he actually said to tell her. You don't know what "have fun" means and you don't want to know what it means.
FINN: so, uh
FINN: do you know how this shit works
FINN: because i have no idea how this shit works
FINN: not gonna lie im kinda freaked out
FINN: in case you couldnt tell
FINN: i know i seem like a master at this shit
FINN: keepin my cool yknow
FINN: just bein all chill
FINN: and not
FINN: flipping the fuck out
FINN: at all |
|
|
|
Post by ivy on Jul 10, 2012 17:25:49 GMT -6
==> Lexi: Do something.
What? Do what? You kind of just wait patiently for Finn to finish fooling around on his computags. Based on the whole "sister-dating bastards" bit he was mumbling, you assume he's helping out Ocia. He had given you a smile earlier, and you felt something flutter in you, because wow hes attractive. You immediately shove the thought out of your mind. He keeps messing around and informs you that Ocia says hi. You sort of nod and just go with it.
LEXI: Uh, well, not really.
LEXI: I don't actually like, live near peeeople, sooo...
LEXI: Im nooot exactly sure how this whole face-to-face interaction thing wooorks.
LEXI: Let alone, a like, relationship and stuff.
LEXI: So, uh...
LEXI: I guess we could just...figure it out as we go?
[/center][/blockquote] [/size]
You hope that this whole trying a relationship thing doesn't end up as a total train wreck.
==> Lexi: Kiss the dude.
It don't take a word
Not a single word
Go on and kiss the dude!
Sha la la la la la--
--whoa whoa whoa hold up. Stop that train before it leaves the station. Where did that come from? Shit, now all you can think about is kissing him, despite having NEVER KISSED ANYONE IN YOUR LIFE. You purse your lips as you think of fluffy sheep. Fluffy purple sheep munching on wavy green grass. Cute sheep. Sheeeeeep. Green grass. Sheep eating green grass. Not kissing Finn. Finn lying in the grass frowning as a sheep mistakenly thinks his hair is grass and tries to eat it.
--Okay this isn't working. You sort of bite your lip trying not to smile at the thought of Finn trying to shoo away a purple sheep and stop it from eating his hair.
|
|
|
|
Post by Finn Innigan on Jul 10, 2012 19:56:36 GMT -6
==> Finn: Do something.
What do you do? You don't know what to do. You've never been in a proper relationship. You've been with people, yeah, but that wasn't you you, it was other you who isn't that different, really, but you like to think he's different and wow, you're starting to sound like you're schizophrenic. You're going to stop internally monologuing now.
FINN: yeah
FINN: that sounds good
FINN: rolling with it, i mean
FINN: uh
Crap. You're blanking again. What do you say? This is awful. This whole thing is going to end up flames and explosions and aw fuck she's biting her lip.
Goddamnit.
==> Finn: Kiss the girl.
You're pretty sure that you're not supposed to get that reference, but you do, because Cali has been a movie buff her entire damn life, and when you two were little and home alone, you'd stay up late watching Disney movies. You watched The Litte Mermaid so many fucking times you could sing along to all of the songs. Not that you ever did. You're too cool for that shit.
==> Finn: KISS THE GIRL
GOD ARROW SHUT THE FUCK UP
Shit, now you really want to kiss her. Is that something you do, when you start a relationship? You don't actually know. Your stomach's flipping again. Great. This is wonderful. Great start, Finn.
==> Finn: GROW A PAIR AND KISS HER ALREADY
You take a deep breath. Okay, Finn, time to kick your self-hate out the nonexistent window and let your confidence take over. You are STRONG and FAST and you have an INCREDIBLE BODY and this INSANELY PRETTY GIRL just SUGGESTED THAT YOU START A RELATIONSHIP. You can kiss her. It's no big deal. You've kissed tons of people. Okay, most of those kisses were because you were too angry/sexually frustrated to think straight, but that's really besides the point. You know what you're doing, kind of. You can do this.
FINN: hey, uh
FINN: lexi, um
You decide not to finish what you were going to say -- whatever it was, you have no fucking idea -- and you lean in instead, moving close enough for your nose to touch hers.
You hesitate for just a moment, nervously lick your lips, and you kiss her. |
|
|
|
Post by dytasprite on Jul 10, 2012 20:07:20 GMT -6
==> Dyta: Reenter.You don't notice at first, carrying a tray of a lot of cups of tea. DYTASPRITE: i have an idea of what you like, corka dear, but half-way there i realized i had no idea what mr. finn would like!
DYTASPRITE: so instead i just made them all!
DYTASPRITE: i hope you two are thir- oh my.
You drop the tray. Your little young one is being kissed. DYTASPRITE: oh.
DYTASPRITE: oh my.
DYTASPRITE: oh my this was an inopportune time to
DYTASPRITE: rolls
DYTASPRITE: rearrive.
You cover your mouth with your hands and a few tears leak out. DYTASPRITE: oh, my little Lexi!
DYTASPRITE: i'm not sad, i promise, it's just...
DYTASPRITE: oh my, this is certainly something i didn't expect.
DYTASPRITE: no offense, to either of you.
DYTASPRITE: oh my, i'm rambling again.
DYTASPRITE: am i, ah, "ruining the moment?"
DYTASPRITE: i can just, sort of,
DYTASPRITE: rolls
DYTASPRITE: rolls
DYTASPRITE: rolls
DYTASPRITE: rolls
DYTASPRITE: rolls
You give up on that sentence in favor of covering your mouth and letting the tears well. At least you've stopped rolling. [/center] |
|
|
|
Post by ivy on Jul 10, 2012 20:46:12 GMT -6
==> Lexi: Kiss the dude.
Nope, too late, since jesus fucking CHRIST FINN INNGAN IS KISSING YOU OH MY GOD OH MY GOD You are pretty much shocked for a good few seconds. Jesus christ, you've never kissed anyone before, what should you do? You sort of try to return the kiss when you hear your maid talking and you know this is going to go down-hill very, very quickly.
The tray clatters to the ground. Startled, you pull back immediately, a blush covering most of your face.
LEXI: Oh!
LEXI: God, uhm.
LEXI: I can...explain.
[/center][/blockquote] [/size]
You quickly glance around, foolishly hoping the answer would just be lying around somewhere. oh god i just- no wait he just kissed me and dyta walked in oh god oh god what do i do god strike me down please-- your panic isn't completely internal and you are really fidgety and looking around quickly you need to explain somehow, someway, something!
Nope, nothing.
LEXI: I--
LEXI: he just like--
LEXI: weeell, like,
LEXI: I mean uh, i just--
LEXI: we're uh--
LEXI: we were just like-
LEXI: i wasnt--
LEXI: er.
You have no explanation to offer. Your brain is shot from that kiss, and your face is on fire from Dyta walking in and what in the world did you do to have this happen to you? You glance really quickly at Finn, but not long enough to identify whatever emotion is on his face, and sort of just stare helplessly at Dyta.
LEXI: I...
LEXI: can't explain...
[/size] Yeah, you're still shell-shocked from that kiss. [/font][/center] |
|
|
|
Post by Finn Innigan on Jul 10, 2012 22:50:41 GMT -6
==> Finn: Be cockblocked.
Always and forever.
Dyta starts talking and the tray crashes and everything goes to shit, not that it hadn't been all the way above shit level before, because you're pretty sure you scared Lexi out of her fucking mind oh god what the fuck were you even thinking oh that's right you weren't
you fucking moron
You breathe and try to ignore the fact that you feel like you just stood in an inferno for a good minute. You're pretty sure that your face just spontaneously combusted.
FINN: um
FINN: uh
FINN: this
FINN: i
FINN: i mean, we, uh
FINN:
FINN:
FINN: um
You suddenly don't know how to function. You're having flashbacks to that time when you flipped and for some reason started making out with the dude you were fighting, and your bro walked in on you and just punched you with a painfully sarcastic 'good job, bro', and when you woke up the next morning you had a blanket of grenades instead of, you know, an actual blanket. You didn't talk to him for days after that.
Except this is even more awkward. You don't know why, but it is.
FINN: uh
FINN: please
FINN: dont cry again
FINN: should i, uh
FINN: should i leave
FINN: please dont cry |
|
|
|
Post by dytasprite on Jul 10, 2012 23:11:20 GMT -6
==> Dyta: Panic.You just ruined a life. You just ruined two lives. One of which was your beautiful corka. However, despite the overwhelming odds, you keep a stiff upper lip. Lexi chokes out a bunch of poor excuses for words. Finn does the same, but remains more coherent than before. You take a deep breath in, wipe away your tears, and let it out. You shake your head a bit and attempt a smile. It comes off genuine, but a bit shaky. DYTASPRITE: both of you.
DYTASPRITE: i believe you have mistaken my crying.
DYTASPRITE: last time it was in sadness, yes.
DYTASPRITE: but i've since realized that my little corka is not so little, yes?
DYTASPRITE: proud guardian tears, is all they were.
You begin to clean up the tray. DYTASPRITE: neither of you have to explain.
DYTASPRITE: or leave.
DYTASPRITE: in fact, it would be better if you didn't leave!
DYTASPRITE: i have been grossly over-reacting for quite some time.
You get... Upright... You guess, and you smile at both of them. DYTASPRITE: i'm going to go make more tea.
DYTASPRITE: and this time, when i'm done, i will simply call you both inside, no ruining of the moments.
DYTASPRITE: allowing you both to, ah, finish any-thing you, ah,
DYTASPRITE: rolls
DYTASPRITE: i'm going to, ah, go now.
You GHOST SCURRY away, but not before whispering something to Lexi, making sure Finn doesn't hear it. [/center] DYTASPRITE: if you think of it, i would appreciate it if the children think i'm their grand-mother.
DYTASPRITE: and make sure marriage comes first, corka, i raised you better than that.
You abscond back into the house, off to make more tea.
[/center] |
|
|
|
Post by threeam3 on Jul 10, 2012 23:45:07 GMT -6
NP: So has the panda maid lady...
NP: Like talked about you two having psychotic babies yet?
NP: *brofist* It's complimentary.
NP: Have fun, Finn!
NP: o.o <-- Vision twofold awaaaaay,
NP: Now I think I may go....
NP: Maybe visit Venn or something.
NP: Or, you know...
NP: Do future stuff.
NP: By the way, when we meet up...
NP: You'd best be prepared for some explosive fisticuffs.
NP: Thought I'd let you lose some steam.
NP: After all the hell that has been going down lately.
|
|
|
|
Post by ivy on Jul 12, 2012 15:54:56 GMT -6
==> Lexi: Be confused.
Yup, pretty much. What just happened? First you were kissing Finn, then Dyta walked/floated/whatever in and everything shattered like the mirror you broke, and Dyta's not sad? and now she's wanting grand kids- waIT WHAT?
Oh my god she did not just-
Yeah, she did. If your face was on fire before, then now its almost melting off from pure embarrassment. You opened your mouth to splutter out a response, but suddenly, Dyta's gone, and you and Finn are alone.
Again.
You are really not sure what to do in this situation. You sort of stand there really awkwardly quiet, trying to think of an appropriate response.
LEXI: Sooo...
[/center][/blockquote] [/size]
Ugh, you have no idea what to say! You shift your weight from foot to foot, hoping an idea will pop in your head about what to do.
|
|
|
|
Post by Finn Innigan on Jul 15, 2012 7:02:24 GMT -6
==> Finn: Stand around awkwardly.
It's what you do best.
Your COMPUTAGS buzz again and you do some weird shit where you check your pesterchum without actually pulling up the screen -- fuck if you know how that works -- and you swear to yourself.
AH: i will destroy everything that you are
AH: sister-dating bastard
AH: get the fuck out
AH: and get ready for explosive fucking fisticuffs in your face
AH: free castration included
AH: what the fuck is a fisticuff
AH: dont answer that
AH: just
AH: go away
-- antiHero [AH] ceased pestering nihilPhilanthropist at ??:??
You continue to awkwardly stand around. Your face is still flaming with the force of
something on fire
Yeah you can't think of any comparisons. You think your brain short-circuited. You're okay with that.
Lexi isn't saying anything either. Shit. Okay, Finn, be the hero. You can do this. Forget about psychotic babies. Don't make an ass out of yourself.
too late
==> Finn: Make an ass of yourself.
FINN: uh
FINN: we should probably move on soon
FINN: or i guess
FINN: you should and i should
FINN: unless you wanna stick together
FINN: you know
FINN: fightin bad guys, kicking ass
FINN: total badass action shit going down
FINN: the sassy bitch and
FINN: what am i batman or the incredible hulk
FINN: fuckin whirlwind adventures all up in this joint
You are the asshat.
It's you. |
|
|
|
Post by ivy on Jul 15, 2012 20:38:53 GMT -6
==> Lexi: Expect Something...More.
Finn fiddles around and does something with his Computags, so you find yourself standing around awkwardly again. He suggests that you should probably get a move on.
You really were expecting something that was...not that. But you can't exactly call it unexpected. Some part of you knew that if this was any less awkward then you would probably be in a romantic movie since romantic movies tend to have few awkward moments that are strategically placed so they result in sloppy makeouts.
Wait.
Where are you going with that thought.
What you're trying to say is that, you knew this awkward lull wouldn't lead into sloppy makeouts...?
You stop that train of thought before it leaves the station, and board a different thought-train because that other one is not going anywhere.
(But for the record, you believe that last train was scheduled to head in the direction of "if it had ended up going any other way, it probably would have been too cliche to be real". You think.)
You aren't sure where these analogies are coming from.
You push your weird thoughts to the side, and smile slightly at his attempt at an analogy for the two of you.
LEXI: Oh, yeah!
LEXI: That sounds like a good idea, I think.
LEXI: And the monsters have gotten like, a lot stronger and stuff, sooo,
LEXI: I think it would be a better idea to like, stick together and stuff.
[/center][/blockquote] [/size]
You aren't sure if you want to bring up the fact that you guys are like, together now, and stuff. But you do, since it should be all right? Because you are together now. And stuff.
LEXI: And we're like, together now. So there's no reason not to.
LEXI: But for names, i think "asshat" suits yooouuu just fine!
You give him a smug sort of grin, and wonder if he'll take the bait and induce another sass-battle. Because you intend to even the score.
Actually, the score is already even.
But in your mind, the score isn't even until you are at least one point ahead of him.
[/center] |
|
|
|
Post by Finn Innigan on Jul 17, 2012 22:27:48 GMT -6
==> Finn: Put on your confidence pants.
Okay, you don't really do metaphors, so you don't actually know what confidence pants are.
You do suddenly find yourself feeling more confident. You can handle monsters and sassy bitches.. Awkward conversations with your now-girlfriend, not so much. Even if the sassy bitch is your now-girlfriend.
It's confusing and makes no sense. You're okay with that.
FINN: oh sure just go sassy on me when im not expecting it
FINN: fuckin cheating bitch
FINN: you know i cant win
FINN: wait, wait
FINN: no
FINN: i did win
FINN: i won last round
FINN: with my stunning fucking body
FINN: knocking you out fuckin cold
FINN: what now, sassmaster |
|
|
|
Post by ivy on Jul 23, 2012 15:27:49 GMT -6
==> Lexi: Be the sassmaster.
You are the sassmaster. It is you.
LEXI: It's not cheating.
LEXI: And psh, please. Don't flatter yourself.
LEXI: I was neither knocked out cold,
LEXI: nooor did you win!
[/center][/blockquote] [/size]
You notice you are slightly shorter than him, and you have to look up slightly to make eye contact.
LEXI: There's no way you could ever hope to win.
LEXI: Especially with a name like Finn Innigan.
LEXI: You named yourself, you said?
LEXI: Pity, you cant blame whoever raised you for your idiocy.
A low blow, but you'll do what it takes. It's like, that's payback for being hot enough to be a male underwear model. That is seriously not fair.
[/center] |
|
