CARMIL OOCHOCK, primitiveMelodist

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[style=font-size:45px; font-family: wire one; letter-spacing: -1; color: B9FC6F; border-bottom: 1px white dotted; width: 500px;]CARMIL OOCHOK, primitiveMelodist[/style]

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[atrb=valign,top][atrb=bgcolor,252525][atrb=style,padding:8px; color:dedede;] Knight OF ASPECT AGE 7 sweeps GENDER male SEXUALITY Pansexual TEAM Blue DREAMER derse STRIFEKIND Bladekind, gauntletkind LAND OF Discord and Reform DENIZEN Ouroboros

[atrb=width,500,bTable][atrb=style,margin-top:-8px,btable][atrb=cellspacing,10,bTable][atrb=valign,top][atrb=border,0,bTable][atrb=bgcolor,252525][atrb=width,350][atrb=style,padding:10px; color:dedede;][style=font-size:14px; letter-spacing: 3px; border-bottom: dotted 1px white;]backstory[/style] ❧ Carmil has always lived his life as an outcast, the lifestyle imposed by his batty wombat lusus. His lusus tried to instil the idea that avoiding society was best for a lime blooded troll, and that by staying underground, sheltered from the world, Carmil would be safe. Carmils thirst for the hunt however was intrigued when his lusus showed him the cave carvings of his late ancestor in an attempt to convey that life outside the hovel was death. Soon thereafter he fought his rather passive lusus, killing him in cold blood and taking to the surface, following his ancestors ideal of the hunt, the thrill quickly becoming something he chose to make his life out of. Even though he lives to hunt and kill creatures that cross his path, he still chooses to live deep within the burrow like home that his lusus had dug out for him, probably because he loved the poor old wombat and now misses him terribly. ❧ Carmil's ancestor, better known as VARIABLE PURSUANT, who used the persecution against him as a limeblood as a weapon to attempt to topple the caste system in his later years. Before his high involvement in the politics of troll society PURSUANT lived in the thicket of the woods as a skilled hunter, keeping record of his feats amongst various cave walls; although the last which had started to depict his fight against the highbloods remains incomplete for reasons unknown. [style=font-size:14px; letter-spacing: 3px; border-bottom: dotted 1px white;]home[/style] Carmil has chosen to make his living in a burrow type home which his lusus dug out for him when he was just a spry wriggler. The vast majority of his room is decorated with the numerous prizes he has collected over his years of hunting; mostly skulls of different shapes and sizes. He has a small pit in the middle with charred pieces of tree bark and scorched bones in it, somewhat resembling a fire pit. Around the pit are a collection of numerous pelts, covering the cold ground and providing cushion. His recuperacoon lays only a few feet away, in the corner, and is for some reason covered in black and white pelts. Some areas of the wall, those not decorated with skulls, are covered with art and writing strewn on animal hides. ❧ His lusus was killed when he turned six sweeps, Carmil having killed his wombat foster parent when they had a disagreement over whether or not he could take care of himself. [style=font-size:14px; letter-spacing: 3px; border-bottom: dotted 1px white;]typing style[/style] ❧ PM: Carmil types as with a hint of irritation but and uses proper grammar while refraining from the conformity which is punctuation [style=font-size:14px; letter-spacing: 3px; border-bottom: dotted 1px white;]symbol[/style] ❧ His symbol is one which he uses to identify as a huntsman, marking the area where he killed his target. (The symbol is in his little picture.)This [style=font-size:14px; letter-spacing: 3px; border-bottom: dotted 1px white;]fetch modus[/style] ❧ Sniff modus: Carmil may freely captchalogue an item and upon doing so a scent is produced that remains specific to the item is produced which Carmil must then memorize. Upon wanting to take an item out the modus protrudes the scent of every item currently in the captchalogue deck and Carmil must identify the scent of the item he seeks. If wrong the scent is lost to him for a set amount of time depending on the item. [style=font-size:14px; letter-spacing: 3px; border-bottom: dotted 1px white;]powers & skills[/style] ❧ Tracking: Carmil excels at tracking his prey. If he wounds his target he can trace the lingering scent of their blood until the scent is lost. (Typically when the bleeding stops.) GODTIER: not yet... [style=font-size:14px; letter-spacing: 3px; border-bottom: dotted 1px white;]medium[/style] ❧ ❧ In the land of Discord and Reform, the denzin Ouroboros has been rampaging since the session first began, tunneling underneath the surface of the land and occasionally emerging to feed on the whatever he could find. Due to his vast size, Ouroboros leaves very little for the consorts of the land. The land itself is very drastic, consisting of modern architecture with jungle like plant life protruding from the various structures in which the consorts hide from the malevolent tyrant that is Ouroboros. [style=font-size:14px; letter-spacing: 3px; border-bottom: dotted 1px white;]sidequest[/style] ❧ Carmil must end the tyranical reign of his denzin and hunt to feed his starving consorts, learning to actually take care of other things.	[atrb=width,150][atrb=valign,top][atrb=bgcolor,B9FC6F][atrb=style,color:252525; padding: 8px;][style=font-size:14px; letter-spacing: 3px; border-bottom: dotted 1px #252525;]positive[/style] ❧ Clever ❧ Versatile ❧ Practical ❧ Persistent ❧ Courageous ❧ Alert [style=font-size:14px; letter-spacing: 3px; border-bottom: dotted 1px #252525;]negative[/style] ❧ Fickle ❧ Violent ❧ independent ❧ uncaring ❧ Uncivilized ❧ Sadist ❧ Masochist ❧ Recluse [style=font-size:14px; letter-spacing: 3px; border-bottom: dotted 1px #252525;]interests[/style] ❧ Fooling others ❧ Primitive societies and cultures ❧ Hunting ❧ Cooking ❧ Eating ❧ Organic creatures with aesthetically pleasing forms ❧ Observing the behavioral patterns of others [/style]
[cs=2][atrb=bgcolor,252525][atrb=style,padding:8px; color: dedede; font-family: dosis; font-size: 10px; text-align: center;]GUARDIAN (OPEN) ❧ SPRITE (OPEN) ❧ EXILE (OPEN)
[cs=2][atrb=bgcolor,252525][atrb=style,padding:8px; color: dedede; font-family: dosis; font-size: 10px; text-align: center]Original artwork as Carmil made by Sodabear/Fancylion.

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[Treb]

Woah there !

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We have a few problems here! If you fix them up, then you'll be good to go and get moving on godtier!

First: I understand that previously we have been very lenient on this, but not so much any more. We require a legitimate quirk from all incoming trolls. This doesn't have to be a replace like Sollux's or Vriska's, it could be as simple as starting all of your sentences with &:: or something like that. So please consider a new quirk.

Secondly: you didn't put your aspect up, and that's a little bit important.

Thirdly: we need your blood color to be your color for the trollhandle.

Fourthly: no troll would kill his/her lusus, they help the troll to survive. Sure Carmil may be living off hunting ideals, but its unrealistic for a troll, mutant-blooded no less, to survive in Alternia. Unless it was extremely recent (like only a few days before the actual game, given that most trolls loose their lusus before the game starts) then I don't think this would be ok. Even then, it wouldn't be mentioned in the history and would most likely be mentioned in passing or roleplayed out.

Lastly: though this is a personal opinion, your negatives are all very drastic and sort of conflict with your positives. Independence, I think that must be a mistake unless it's independent to the point where he wont accept help (which is a whole different concept). Also, one can not be practical after killing their own lusus and being uncaring and uncivilized. Along with that, fickle and persistent. If you could take another look at your positives and negatives that would be greatly appreciated. (Perhaps use weaker words?).

I'm not telling you to do so, but with the amount of changes, maybe you should consider reworking your character? Especially since a good amount of his history is based off of his lusus (what leads up to and proceeds its' death).

Please PM or skype me with any questions/comments and if necessary I can move this thread back to WIP for you or delete it all together.
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[ZEXY]

Hey there !

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It looks like this thread has been touched since Treble last posted which was May 15th. If you have just gotten caught up in life, left the site, or are no longer interested PLEASE respond here with whats up. Any questions feel free to PM to me, and with that I'm giving this thread until June 15th for you to respond. If we don't here from you I'm sending it to the trash. Which if you come back and decide you still want to revive the character feel free to re-post the app with the proper corrections needed.
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[ZEXY]

Archived

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