Jace Pyrros, ridiculousApathy

[rwaht]

Okay, there are some problems.

• Is the DOC Doc Scratch? Because that's a no-go
  
• Why is sburb loading backwards?
  
• I'm afraid the dual dreamself thing isn't really something I want to encourage or let through, so I'm going to have to ask you to change that.
  
• The Denizen of Life should be Hemera, not Athena; so far all the Heroes of a certain aspect share their Denizen with the canon Denizen.
  
• Opening doorways with your key is A) really vague and B) intruding on a hero of Space's powers, so that'll need to be changed. I don't mind a little variance in powers outside of the character's Aspect, but teleporting between planes of reality is a bit much.
  
• The Black King can't be holding your denizen hostage. He's busy on the battlefield, and, more to the point, he's a playable character; if someone takes him, they have the right to have him doing whatever, not just what you specify.

[obscurusluminosity]

First of all no, the DOC is not be Doc Scratch, I could see how you may get that with them sharing similar names- however a slight description as given that should make it clear that he is not Scratch. Originally I was going with the PROF, but Homestuck follows the third letter naming scheme for guardians. The S'burb load is going backwards is something that will be addressed in role play, simply because of something similar to Jane's computer exploding due to Roxy's ath~. I wanted to be Derse, however that's impossible and so considering that Sollux had it due to his duality theme- having multiple-personalities may react in nearly the same- note that Derse-dreamers seem to have more psychological issues, so Propsit would not be fitting. I realize its not encouraged, as a result of possible over-powering a character, but given that his other self acts on its own accord, only being called part of himself because he lives within his mind can not react in over-powering; he simply has no control over the other character, whose simply their to antagonize him- not being helpful whatsoever. Fourth, he's a player of mind; there is no canon mind denizen and the one that the Troll mind player used, barely corresponds to the aspect. If Hephaestus was used, another greek god, such as Athena should be usable as well. In addition, perhaps I shouldn't have used the word hostage- its more of a being held captive thing- Athena's knowledge is being harvested to create devastating weaponry and so forth; all the king had to do was demand her capture, meaning he in no way has to be near her. Lastly, I had a hard time coming up on a mind related final purpose- he's a page, meaning its obviously left to be something big; terezi has only shown us that the aspect relates decisions as well as the imaginary; being able to see Rufio and Jake's dirk. It's not the planes of reality; rather dis-reality; its sort of confusing to explain really. More like a daily scroll through someone's mind sort of deal. Hussie has not been that clear on what every aspect is solely about; considering heart has only been recently noted as "soul", and so its up to ourselves to decide on it.

Anyways, I hope I've defended my points. On a side note, it doesn't seem like you've done a lot given your post counts; but given your confirmations to the beta session, I'll take it that you're a mod. Anyways, I'd prefer if other members could decide as well, instead of being based on one opinion, as different people have different understandings of ideas.

Thanks, for your opinion anyways

[rwaht]

As grateful for my opinion as you may be, the fact remains that I'm a moderator (that's what the dot and white name are for) and my job is to look over profiles for consistency. My points remain, and until you amend them, your character won't be approved. My characters are Venn Diegram, Veraxe Destar, and Big Sis': trust me, I've done my share of RPing on this site.

My apologies for mixing up Mind and Life, though; I don't know why I thought your character was life, that was purely oversight on my part. You can have Athena, though you still can't have the Black King holding her captive.

Explain what dis-reality is in your profile, please, if you're going to refer to it.

As for the dual dreamselves, my answer remains the same. No.

[obscurusluminosity]

Page of Mind
Jace Pyrros, ridiculousApathy
RE-finished!

--Commence Application--

[style=font-size:45px; font-family: wire one; letter-spacing: -1; color: 2cc48a; border-bottom: 1px white dotted; width: 500px;]JACE PYRROS, ridiculousApathy[/style]

[atrb=border,0,bTable][atrb=cellspacing,10,bTable][atrb=vAlign,top][atrb=width,110][atrb=width,500,bTable][style=height:100px;background-;width:100px;padding:5px; text-align:center;][/style]

[atrb=valign,top][atrb=bgcolor,252525][atrb=style,padding:8px; color:dedede;] PAGE OF MIND AGE Recently- turned 15 GENDER Male SEXUALITY N/A? TEAM S'burb: (Apparently) Team Two/ Three? STRIFEKIND Keykind DREAMER Prospit LAND OF Illusion and Depth DENIZEN Daedalus

[atrb=width,500,bTable][atrb=style,margin-top:-8px,btable][atrb=cellspacing,10,bTable][atrb=valign,top][atrb=border,0,bTable][atrb=bgcolor,252525][atrb=width,350][atrb=style,padding:10px; color:dedede;][style=font-size:14px; letter-spacing: 3px; border-bottom: dotted 1px white;]backstory[/style] ❧ You’re currently sprawled out on the roof of the research facility- You shouldn’t be here, but frankly, given that you’re facing the APOCALYPSE and all, you doubt it even matters anymore. In fact, you’re not even sure where the DOC could have gotten off to---probably ecstatic about the Earth's obliteration--- but never mind that. The night didn’t start off like this, nor was it your expectation that you’d wake up to the end of the world--- especially NOT on your fifteen birthday. You’d come up here to check out the abnormality of the meteor shower earlier, only to stumble across and unearth some secrets that you likely shouldn’t have. Well, at least something was happening in this fucking frozen wasteland fiery frozen wasteland. You’ve been here for what? Three months, now? Just another one of the DOC’s research expeditions you guess; this time the analyzing the Northern Lights (amongst other strange occurrences)---another boring thing that you did not give a fuck about. You tend have conversations with yourself- and not like normal...slightly deranged people. Another mind exists within your own, and he can be extremely bothersome at times. In fact, you’ve taken the liberty of naming him “AS” (Alternative Self); with the occasional third “S” being thrown in at times for the sake of the acronym. Originally, he was not much of a bother; fairly agreeable actually, but now he was beyond annoying. (It's less of having an alternative personality that he'd be able to switch between constantly; and more like another consciousness. AS is calmer of the two. Jace, normally, is fairly collective, but will become irritated and react with snark to AS's presence, which he considers invasive and annoying. AS has more of a AR-presence (minus the glasses), rather than a Hulk sort of multiple personality disorder deal.) Being raised with the DOC resulted in a lot of raising yourself; sure you were a loner, but you’ve learned to be more competent that way, picking up various skills from interesting people you’ve met along the way, but there’s not a lot of people in the Arctic- nor a lot of friends, and so began Pesterchum. The DOC, is a whole other subject in himself; the man’s interesting enough and actually unlike a normal scientist, badass. He’s obsessively engaged in his work- which never seems to focus on one subject. Given that he never has time for all his multiple experiments- explosions are common. You’d uploaded “S’burb Beta” onto your laptop before any of the others,“borrowing” it from the DOC’s office- you’d assumed it was your birthday gift. You had no intention of playing it however, that is, until you encountered the underground lab. Now the meteors rained down, shit was irons were in the fire, and loading time started going backwards. JUST FUCKING GREAT. [style=font-size:14px; letter-spacing: 3px; border-bottom: dotted 1px white;]home[/style] ❧ As earlier mentioned, you often travel to questionable locations; all part of a suspicious research project being conducted by your guardian. Your current location however, is Northern Canada- and your temporary home sweet home, a giant research facility. You’ve been told not to mess around, but obviously you have not taken this warning to heart. The majority of your days- if not occupying yourself with an obsessive hobby- are spent in PSEUDO-SPY MODE. Your guardian has been a lot more jumpy and on edge lately, understandable given what mysterious activity has occurred in recent days. You’d rather leave it at that. Unlike your Guardian, you tend to be a bit more caught up in the unimaginable and illogical. [style=font-size:14px; letter-spacing: 3px; border-bottom: dotted 1px white;]typing style[/style] ❧RA: Due to his extremely low tolerance for blunt moronic antics, his speech, and therefore typing quirk is just riddled with foolish snarky, and rather sarcastic commentary (as if anyone cares), in addition to the occasional rabid bout of sesquipedalian loquaciousness. However, despite his aloof indifference to the interruptions plagued upon him by AS, the SUPREME blue text, they are prone to psychotic self-arguments. disagreements. RA: The war behind the two selves varies, more recently however, the competent blue text coincides with the orange with additional, but useless, details being rudely crossed out. These guest appearances interruptions can vary in form, however the blue text is always AS, and the orange is the original Jace, meaning full conversations in either colour may take place. [style=font-size:14px; letter-spacing: 3px; border-bottom: dotted 1px white;]symbol[/style] ❧ Your symbol? What symbol? You see no symbol and frankly, you doubt one even existed on this timeline or otherwise. (That was a joke- and a horrible one at that- O god, your DOC's horrible sense of humor is getting to you) Your symbol is similar to the Deathly Hallows sign (from Harry Potter)- basically (below)- however the circle is more of an omega - making the bottom of the triangle part of the omega, and so triangle actually, an alpha. This (sort of) represents his conflicting selves; the omega inside of an alpha and the line further divides the two. The triangle is also a delta- the symbol of Daedalus- your denizen and creator of the labyrinth. ^ If you don't understand that, it looks sort of like a keyhole; his weapon of choice is Keykind. [style=font-size:14px; letter-spacing: 3px; border-bottom: dotted 1px white;]fetch modus[/style] ❧ Mendeleev Modus- Designed like the Periodic table- Items are arranged into of columns and rows that share similar properties. Items of more complicated substance are allocated further down the columns, whilst larger items are placed leftmost of the rows. When a column/ row is nearly complete- a ghost image of a WILD CARD item is found- this item obeys the patterns that has been set up by the other items. At this point, your Fetch Modus is simplified- being a 4x4 card square. Two options are available to obtain the objects; the current one is designed similar to the HASH MAP MODUS-(Vowel= 1, Constant=2). The sum of these numbers are divided by the amount of occupied Captchalogue cards in the deck, leaving the remainder as the atomic number of the accessible object. The latter options- allows only combined objects to leave- and so an ionic or covalent bond must be formed. An ionic compound only glues the objects together- while slightly altering the items. Covalent combines the object in a method similar to alchemy. If the atomic number of the compound (sum of its elements) is too large- you will not be able to re-Captchalogue it. Items given abnormally large atomic number sums- are often unstable and may experience spontaneously combustion. [style=font-size:14px; letter-spacing: 3px; border-bottom: dotted 1px white;]powers & skills[/style] ❧ Alternative Self- You’re not quite sure how this would be considered an ability- in most cases, it’d be your weakness- however AS has shown helpful, in that, he somehow obtained more information than you yourself ever could. It’s also sort of nice to have someone to talk to when your friends are occupied by more serious matters- even if that person is yourself. It should be noted that as a Page, you're really lacking any badass skills. You have a knack of psychoanalysis and robotics, but nothing seemingly useful. Being the prodigy of a famed- although pychotic- scientist, you’ve delevoped the ability to be unnoticed- overshadowed- and unseen. (Not literal invisibility, rather extreme sneakiness) [style=font-size:14px; letter-spacing: 3px; border-bottom: dotted 1px white;]medium[/style] ❧ Welcome to the Land of Illusion and Depth- Enjoy your Fall. You stumble down the rabbit hole- or- through the looking glass? Or whatever shitty Alice in Wonderland reference you can devise-. (It doesn't really matter.) But this place... it sure is weird. Nothing's following the laws of physics, that's for sure. Daedalus, your denizen, isn’t directly the issue- from what you know he's underground in his workshop. (Underground, being a vast network of aeemingly infinate labyrinths and catacombs.) The imps have adapted to the underground as well. They’re stronger than ever and hunting you down (O joy) . The consorts- these god damn chamelons- at least, you think that’s what they are- aren’t much help with their stupid mind-games and vexing conversations. Your quest is to figure out the rules and systems governing your world and use it to your advantage- on top of that, your alternative self has gone rampid. And did you mention that Daedalus is pitting you against him? Soon, the quest becomes clear- and the game of cat-and-mouse- a war of strategies- is afoot. But, that’s a ruse- the distraction- you need Daedalus’ aid for the final battle- to do that you must prove your worth. How you do that, however- is not clear. All you know, is that you’ve got a long quest ahead of you- one you doubt you can handle [style=font-size:14px; letter-spacing: 3px; border-bottom: dotted 1px white;]sidequest[/style] ❧ Like any page, you've got a slight array of...er.... self-problems. From lack of self-confidence to arguments with projections of your friends---Your major issue involves AS, your alternative self, who antagonists you on a daily basis- for what you supposed- was his own entertainment. It’s not until he gets prototyped- that he becomes a real threat. The eventual showdown- or agreement- is bound to occur- its just a matter of time. You are the Page- the apprentice- the blank sheet. Your legend is yet to be writ, your worth yet to be proved.	[atrb=width,150][atrb=valign,top][atrb=bgcolor,B9FC6F][atrb=style,color:252525; padding: 8px;][style=font-size:14px; letter-spacing: 3px; border-bottom: dotted 1px #252525;]positive[/style] ❧ Psychoanalytical ❧ Cunning ❧ Snarky ❧ Determined ❧ Adventurous [style=font-size:14px; letter-spacing: 3px; border-bottom: dotted 1px #252525;]negative[/style] ❧ Arrogant ❧ Paranoid ❧ Insomnia ❧ Melodramatic ❧ Obsessive ❧ Awkward ❧ Multi-Personality Disorder Complex (Can a disorder also be a complex? *shrugs) [style=font-size:14px; letter-spacing: 3px; border-bottom: dotted 1px #252525;]interests[/style] ❧ Apocalyptic Theories ❧ Alchemy ❧ Plotting/ Inventions ❧ War-related history, Myths ❧ Role-Playing Video Games (Namely Kingdom Hearts) ❧ Pseudo- Spy Antics ❧ Chess ❧ Sesquipedalian loquaciousness (otherwise known as;Confusing the shit out of people) [/style]
[cs=2][atrb=bgcolor,252525][atrb=style,padding:8px; color: dedede; font-family: dosis; font-size: 10px; text-align: center;] GUARDIAN Mattias Pyrros ❧ SPRITE (OPEN) ❧ EXILE (OPEN)
[cs=2][atrb=bgcolor,252525][atrb=style,padding:8px; color: dedede; font-family: dosis; font-size: 10px; text-align: center] Pseudonymous Person Archive as Jace Pyrros made by Ionria Haddix.

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[ThreeAM]

REJECTED !

Time limit exceeded!

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