i don't even [alex]

[anguis]

-- neuroticAnapsida [NA] began trolling zeusAmmon [ZA] at ??:?? --

NA: I wass on the green human girl'ss timeline.
NA: Becausse sshe iss the Hero of Time and needss to be watched over.
NA: And I couldn't help but notice.
NA: That the Bear human hass been prototyped.
NA: Thiss iss frightening.
NA: And.
NA: Thrilling.
NA: He really iss quite sstrong issn't he.
NA: He'ss a very good lussuss ass well.
NA: And he'ss sso.
NA: Large.
NA: Are many humanss like the Bear human?
NA: Large and sstrong and brave?

[alexander]

ZA: Some of them.
ZA: Honestly, Bear's I in a M^II.
ZA: Err, one in a million.
ZA: That guy is amazing.
ZA: And it's mostly frightening.
ZA: These imps are massive.
ZA: Really, I'm fighting them as we're talking.
ZA: And thanks to Venn, they can fly now.
ZA: You know.
ZA: This is the most positive I've seen you about humans.

[anguis]

NA: He iss pretty.
NA: Amazing.
NA: Wow.
NA: If the impss are giving you a fight.
NA: He musst be really sstrong.
NA: Like.
NA: Really sstrong.
NA: Jusst.
NA: Powerful.
NA: I.
NA: Uh.
NA: Well.
NA: If all humanss were like the Bear human.
NA: Then there'd be no reasson to be negative about them.
NA: The Bear human iss pretty.
NA: Fantasstic.

[alexander]

ZA: Yeah.
ZA: He didn't even enter the treehouse the regular way.
ZA: He just sort of jumped the whole gap.
ZA: And entered the treehouse.
ZA: By just breaking through the wall.
ZA: Honestly, this is so much worse.
ZA: Because they can fly.
ZA: And shoot lasers.
ZA: And I'm near the top of my echeladder.
ZA: God knows how the other teams will manage.
ZA: Though I suppose if we were playing this competitively.
ZA: This would be a good thing.
ZA: On the bright side.
ZA: Good experience, I guess?

[anguis]

NA: Wow.
NA: I jusst watched that.
NA: Jusst.
NA: Wow.
NA: He jusst jumped right through that wall.
NA: Jusst bursst right through it.
NA: Amazing.
NA: Hiss matessprit iss very lucky.
NA: Whoever they are.
NA: Oh wait do you actually want help or ssomething.
NA: If the impss are that hard you're gonna have a bitch of a time againsst the Black King.
NA: I'd ssay you sshould all get to God Tier.
NA: If the Alpha Timeline allowss for it.
NA: You can't really go wrong with being a God.
NA: I think.
NA: At thiss point.
NA: With your impss sso sstrong and brave and heroic like the Bear human.
NA: And hardly any prototypingss.
NA: You sshould worry lessss about competition.
NA: And more about sstaying alive.

[alexander]

ZA: Bear's wife died a few years back.
ZA: So he's been raising Cali on his own for a few years.
ZA: Cali used to have a brother too.
ZA: But he ran off, haven't really heard much about him since.
ZA: Though he turned up in time for the game.
ZA: Hate him.
ZA: Seriously.
ZA: He is always so pissed about something.
ZA: Thank God he's not the knight.
ZA: I hope.
ZA: What is he anyway?

[anguis]

NA: A wife iss a matessprit?
NA: Sso he'ss all alone except for the Cali human.
NA: That'ss sso ssad.
NA: Sso.
NA: Pitiable.
NA: Yess.
NA: He iss a very pitiable human.
NA: Oh wait you want more ansswerss.
NA: Well fuck.
NA: Doess thiss make me your fairy god troll or ssomething?
NA: I can't jusst magically give you ansswerss Alex.
NA: What iss a brother anyway?
NA: Maybe I could figure out which one he iss with like.
NA: A name.
NA: Or a chumhandle or ssomething.

[alexander]

ZA: Finn.
ZA: antiHero.
ZA: And I guess?
ZA: You do actually help.
ZA: So I suppose it does.
ZA: And a brother.
ZA: You guys don't have siblings.
ZA: Let's see.
ZA: Basically.
ZA: Born from the same mother.
ZA: Or same lusus.
ZA: Whatever works.

[anguis]

NA: What that iss sso fucking sstupid.
NA: A lussuss can't watch over more than one troll.
NA: Except for prince moron'ss lussuss but that'ss a sspecial casse.
NA: Bessides a wiggler doessn't hatch from a lussuss.
NA: Jeguss that'ss like.
NA: Bassicss.
NA: We all come from the Mother Grub.
NA: The sstrong oness hatch and we go through the trialss.
NA: Then we get a lussuss.
NA: I guessss it doessn't work that way for you.
NA: Humanss are sso weird.
NA: Like thiss green Finn human.
NA: He'ss the Bard of--
NA: Oh.
NA: What iss he doing?
NA: Oh sso that'ss the color of human blood.
NA: Iss that a -- oh no that'ss jusst a toy.
NA: There wass definitely not a knife there.
NA: Oh.
NA: Are humanss alwayss thiss violent?
NA: He certainly sseemss very angry.
NA: Fitting I guessss.
NA: He iss the Bard of Rage.
NA: Sso you hate thiss human?
NA: Why?

[alexander]

ZA: ...
ZA: Now that you mention it.
ZA: I don't really know.
ZA: He ran away from his family a few years back.
ZA: You think that would be it.
ZA: But it's not.
ZA: He just.
ZA: He seriously rubs me the wrong way.
ZA: And I don't know why.
ZA: But still.
ZA: Weird that trolls don't have siblings.

[anguis]

NA: That ssoundss like the beginningss of a blackcrussh to me.
NA: But what do I know.
NA: I'm only your fairy god troll and total expert in all thingss involving relationsshipss.
NA: We're weird?
NA: You're weird!
NA: We don't need ssiblingss.
NA: Ssiblingss are sstupid.
NA: Ssee thiss homicidal Finn human iss all sstrange and angry.
NA: Probably becausse he had a ssibling.
NA: He remindss me of the Bear human though.
NA: They're both very sstrong.
NA: The Bear human iss much better though.
NA: I don't think anyone could be better than the Bear human.

[alexander]

ZA: Yes, Bear is much better than Finn.
ZA: So much better.
ZA: Bear actually keeps a nice outlook no matter what happens.
ZA: Great dad too.
ZA: Speaking of.
ZA: What exactly happens to someone who's been prototyped?

[anguis]

NA: Sso great.
NA: Ah.
NA: I think either way it jusst abssorbss them.
NA: All our lussii were dead when we prototyped them.
NA: They came back to life.
NA: Kind of.
NA: But they weren't really the ssame.

[alexander]

ZA: So you could say they came back wrong.
ZA: Like Frankenstein's monster.
ZA: Though the monster was hardly evil.
ZA: It just wanted to be loved.
ZA: Instead it was reviled and rejected.
ZA: And depending on whether you read the book or watched the movie.
ZA: Either went off to the North Pole to commit suicide.
ZA: Or burned to death inside a windmill.

[anguis]

NA: What.
NA: What the fuck.
NA: Have you been eating whatever the human equivalent of ssopor iss?
NA: Gogdamn.
NA: It wassn't like that at all.
NA: Take Ssnakedad for example.
NA: He wass a lazy basstard.
NA: But he wass alwayss sstraight up whenever we had to sstrife.
NA: He actually wassn't hard to look after.
NA: But then I prototyped him.
NA: And he got really cagey and ssneaky about sshit.
NA: Like he knew everything.
NA: But couldn't tell me everything.
NA: What'ss a Frankensstein?