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Post by mohavi on Apr 23, 2012 14:08:12 GMT -6
-- dislocatedPharaoh [DP] began trolling southernHellion [SH] at 10:10 --
DP: ....hello human....
DP: ....i am so excited.... i ha^e been ^^atching you for so long.... and no^^ i finally get to talk to you...!!
DP: ....oh gods t^^o exclamation points... this is so embarassing i am usually not this energetic.... allo^^ me a second to calm do^^n....
DP: ..........
DP: ..........
DP: ....okay i am good no^^.... i think....
DP: ....forgi^e my eagerness but....
DP: ....you see you are my first.... and i am ner^ous and filled with anticipation all at once....
DP: ....it's ner^e wracking really....
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Post by edward on Apr 23, 2012 14:55:48 GMT -6
SH: wow usually when people are being pretend stalkers for the sake of irony or whatever on the intnert they're a little more subtle about it but you came on so strong i mean wow
SH: made it pretty obvious that you're full of shit dude i mean really did you just clal me human and preetnd that you've been watching me
SH: no seriously did you
SH: because i can't really read some of what you're typing
SH: what's with the carrots everywhere
SH: also are you coming on to me because you really made it sound just now like you're expecting me to take your v card and that's not the sort of shit i do with people i haven't met over the internet so yeah no
SH: why am i even entertaining htis you're lucky i'm so bored |
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Post by mohavi on Apr 23, 2012 15:16:28 GMT -6
DP: ....i am not pretending.... nor am i stalking.... just obser^ing for the sake of.... ^^ell.... in my case it is to simply learn more about you.... i think the point of our interaction as a ^^hole is maybe sabotage....
DP: ....i should really be insulting you right no^^.... if one of the others asks.... tell them i cursed at you good okay....
DP: ....but i am not going to because you get more striped buzzers ^^ith s^^eet yello^^ goop than ^^ith bitter juice... i think that is the saying....
DP: ....also i suppose this must be ^^eird.... from my ^ie^^s of your time line this is your first troll interaction i think.... maybe an introduction ^^ill help us be more comfortable.... and it isn't really fair of me to initiate the questions ^^ithout telling you a little about me first...
DP: ....my name is moha^i pendra and i am a troll from the no^^ extinct planet of alternia.... also i think the carrots you are referring to is my quirk.... all trolls ha^e them.... it makes us more unique compared to one another.... it is a form of expression....
DP: ....no^^ that i ha^e cleared that up it is your turn....
DP: ....^^hat is a ^ card....?
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Post by edward on Apr 23, 2012 18:14:59 GMT -6
SH: okay so there are others of you i guess that's cool
SH: well whatever the case i'm definitely not gonna lie for you i don't even know you that would be dumb
SH: i'm not even gonna try and tranlstate the nonsense that you just typed what is a striped buzzer feel free not to answer that
SH: hate to break it to you dude
SH: dudette
SH: whatever no big deal anyway hate to break ti to you but it's far from the first time that i've been trolled on the internet in fact i've done a bit myself
SH: you are not even particularly good at it i hope this doesn't burst any bubbles for you
SH: wow did you really just ask what a v card is if you don't know then i'm going to assume you still have it
SH: it's your virginity y'dingus that's what a v card is seriously what is wrong iwth you are all people that preetnd to be aliens on the internet this oblivious |
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Post by mohavi on Apr 23, 2012 18:45:07 GMT -6
DP: ....fine you don't ha^e to lie.... i am going to get bullied for this....
DP: ....a striped buzzer is... ^^ell it is ^^hat it is.... it goes bzzzz....
DP: ....ne^ermind....
DP: ....i am male.... if that is ^^hat you ^^ere asking....
DP: ....and i must ha^e missed something in your timeline.... i ^^ill go back and check later.... maybe that is ^^hy you appear so stand offish if any of the other more aggressi^e trolls ha^e gotten to you first....
DP: ....for no^^ all i intend is to ask questions.... nice polite questions....
DP: ....like ^^hat the fuck is a ^irginity.... i think i ha^e heard of that.... let me check my human handbook.... i made it myself....
DP: .........
DP: ....there has been a huge misunderstanding....!
DP: ....that ^^as not my intent at all....! ....i meant you ^^ere to be the first human i ha^e spoken ^^ith.... not.... that....
DP: ....i am not e^en sure our races could interbreed.... sure our anatomy looks similar but ^^e ha^e our differences and i ha^e only seen you humans ^^ith clothes on....
DP: ....suggesting for you to take them off for me to confirm or dispute this ^^ould be going too far.... huh...?
DP: ....from all my ^^atching i do not recall seeing a single pail in your timeline.... so i ^^ill assume you are a fairly modest person....
DP: ....though i suppose you humans could use some other pail like object.... or another ^^ay entirely.... e^en though that seems ^ery unlikely....
DP: ....oh....
DP: ....let us make that our first question....! ho^^ do you humans reproduce....?
DP: ....do not ^^orry about going into the gritty details.... i can keep my composure....
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Post by edward on Apr 23, 2012 18:57:05 GMT -6
SH: well what would you have to do to not get bullied like harass me or something because that's a thing trolls normally do when trolling
SH: but i ahve to admit this is way more effective at annoying and bewildering than straight up harassment tends to be and isn't that kind of hte point of trolling someone in the ned i mean that's what i laways strive for
SH: oh are you talking about a bee
SH: right that whole thing doesn't make any more sense knowing that so yes we can drop ti please and thank you god
SH: if i got my knickers in a twist every time some other dingbat decided to troll on the internet i'd say i'd hardly have an unknotted knicker left
SH: are you sure that wasn't your intent because it defintiely sounded like yoru intent
SH: but with how terrible you seme to be at talking to people i honestly wouldn't be surprised at this point if you never had before
SH: so since you're askin gme to take off my close i have to assume you're like a forty eight year old guy that lives in his mom's basement because that happenes a lot
SH: and no i'm not gonna do that
SH: are you asking if pails are involved in human reproduction because what the fuck even no they are not or should not be unless you have a seriously strange kink
SH: could you like ask your mom how babies are made or just look it up online i mean you are using a computer right now it's pretty mcuh designed for people to watch how babies are made |
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Post by mohavi on Apr 23, 2012 19:34:33 GMT -6
DP: ....hmm.... i suppose you are right.... in this case i guess i am fulfilling my role on the team.... good.... ^^e can continue....
DP: ....keeping on the subject of the question and not bringing ho^^ isolated from others i sound okay....
DP: ....my ^^hole reason for talking to you is to simply learn more about you and your race.... i ha^^e no redrom feelings for you nor do i intend to as of yet....
DP: ....and for your information i am six s^^eeps old.... by my calculations i am close to thirteen/fourteen human s^^eeps.... or years old....
DP: ....you can keep your clothes on if you ^^ant to it ^^as just a suggestion.... i ^^ill just ha^e to ask one of the other humans....
DP: ....i just assumed you used pails.... that is ^^hat trolls use.... ^^e.... um.... okay hold on let me take a deep breath this ^^ill get a little a^^k^^ard....
DP: ....heeeee hooooo....
DP: ....matesprit and kismesis troll pairs are required to offer up their.... genetic materiel ^^hen the imperial drones come.... they hold large pails ^^hich the materiel ^^ill then be poured into.... and mixed... until it is ready to be gi^en to the mother grub ^^ho then makes more trolls....
DP: ....that is the simple explanation.... i do not think i could handle a more detailed one right no^^ i am quite embarrassed.... sorry....
DP: ....but no^^ that i ha^e told you.... you o^^e me the correct explanation of ho^^ human grubs are made.... or babies....
DP: ....sure i could look it up.... maybe.... yet i ^^ould rather hear it from a real li^e human.... more legit that ^^ay....
DP: ....now hurry i am ^ery curious to kno^^ ho^^ it ^^orks ^^ithout pails....
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Post by edward on Apr 23, 2012 20:01:40 GMT -6
SH: okay wow
SH: wooooow
SH: what part of anything i said made it seem like i wanted to hear any part of that hot mess
SH: because i promise that i didn't so keep any of that shit to yourself
SH: in any case i ddefinitely don't owe you shit because in no way did i ask to learn about any of that nonsense you just spilled
SH: but i'm a pretty gneerous fellow so i could actually explain it if you want i'm warning you right now that this is about to happen
SH: are you sure you're ready for this
SH: you could close your chat window or whatever right now
SH: no you're okay
SH: okay well here it goes
SH: guys have a dick and girls have a vagina when you put a dick in a vagina genetic material goes from a guy to a girl and stews in there for about nine months and then a baby comes out
SH: tada!! that's how it's done |
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Post by mohavi on Apr 23, 2012 20:23:58 GMT -6
DP: ....maybe i misread you....
DP: ....or perhaps it ^^as all part of my master plan to get you to talk....
DP: ....(really i just misread you sorry)....
DP: ....um.... ^^ell.... that all seems....
DP: ....quite confusing.... uh let me ^^rite this do^^n....
DP: ....so the girl is the pail in this... and the mother grub....?
DP: ....^^hoa that is really something.... kind of creepy e^^....
DP: ....thank you for telling me regardless ignore my disgust i am just being rude i am sure it is a rather beautiful ritual....
DP: ....bleh....
DP: ....on to the next question i guess.... you mentioned a 'mom' earlier.... from ^^hat i ha^e gathered a mom is like ^^hat ^^e trolls call a lusus.... your guardian.... the one that raised you.... but humans can ha^e t^^o right....? ....and they are not al^^ays moms....
DP: ....that must be confusing and hard.... i kno^^ my lusus ^^as a handful.... she ^^ould al^^ays sleep underground and ^^ould ne^er let me go far it ^^as quite annoying....
DP: ....oh but i miss her though.... i regret accidentally killing her....
DP: ....i am so sad no^^....
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Post by edward on Apr 24, 2012 13:29:23 GMT -6
SH: no it's not a beautiful ritual it's actulaly pretty sweaty and gross
SH: but whatever
SH: first of all i don't have a mom i have a sibling
SH: but more importantly no you need to stop
SH: the way you're talking about all of this shit makes me forgte that i'm talking to some idiot on the inertnet you're too good at this where di dyou learn htis shit
SH: you must be a writer or something to come up with all this
SH: like if you get flashbacks and get all sadface because of the trolling you're doing tehn you can't be as good a troll as i thought you were now i'm shaking my head at you
SH: but apparently you can see me or something right do you see me shaking my head because that's what i'm doing |
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Post by mohavi on Apr 24, 2012 23:17:52 GMT -6
DP: ....^^ait i am confused...
DP: ....first you said i am too good at this....
DP: ....and then you implied i am bad....?
DP: ....yes i can see you shaking your strangely colored hornless head but this does not ans^^er my question....
DP: ....i mean it is not like i really care if i am good or bad at... trolling you.... e^en though i really do not kno^^ exactly ^^hat trolling e^en means anymore because you seem to ha^e a ^ery different definition then i do....
DP: ....and call me crazy....
DP: ....but i am starting to belie^e you think i am making this all up....
DP: ....i can assure you e^erything i ha^e been telling you is ^ery much the truth....!
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Post by edward on Apr 24, 2012 23:28:06 GMT -6
SH: well if i have to spell it out for you jeez at first i thought you were good because you know i was getting annoyed and confused and shit and that's usually the point of trolling am i right or am i right
SH: but then you turned it around and suddenly you were all teary eyed over this and that and whoa what even trolls do not emote what is this shit
SH: by the way you know i'm shitting with you right i mean if you're taking any of what i'm saying about this seriously
SH: then bad
SH: bad boy
SH: bad troll
SH: call me crazy but yeah no i definitely don't believe anythign you're saying is that the point of what you've been telling me for me to belive it
SH: because if it is then you should try and make shit up that's at least a tiny bit convincing none of htis alien stuff that doesn't even make a lick of sense
SH: i mean why would i believe any of it it's all fuckin' nuts |
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Post by mohavi on Apr 24, 2012 23:59:04 GMT -6
DP: ....^^ell of course ^^e ha^e emotions....
DP: ....mostly anger.... but ^^e ha^e a ^^ide array of feelings past that....
DP: ....especially ^^hen talking about the deceased one that raised you....
DP: ....and no^^ you say you are not serious....!
DP: ....you are ^ery confusing....! ....you are the bad boy not me....!
DP: ....i am being ^ery open ^^ith you about my race and culture and you think i am lying....
DP: ....although admittedly e^erything does seem a little unbelie^able at first.... okay okay okay....
DP: ....ho^^ can i pro^e to you ^^hat i am saying is real....
DP: ....hmmmmmm....
DP: ....perhaps a picture....? ....they do say a thousand ^^ords....
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Post by edward on Apr 27, 2012 15:08:13 GMT -6
SH: okay a stranger on the internet is offering to show me a picture of himself
SH: tehre is approxiamtely a one billion percent chance that you are going to show me a picture of your dick
SH: so i'm going ot have to say that i'd rather not get in to this whole business of sharing picutres of ourselves online to strangers
SH: thanks |
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