Prospective Patronage [Venn/Page]

[vio]

-- whitefacedInquisitor [WI] opened a private memo at 21:12 --

WI: v State your names, species and signs for the record. v

[venndiegram]

-- vociferousCryptid [VC] replied to private memo at 21:0130 --

VC: what
VC: WHAT !S TH!S
VC: OH MAN ANOTHER ONE OF YOU GUYS
VC: HAHA OH TH!S !S SO COOL ! WAS JUST EXPLA!N!NG THE PSEUDO-CRYPT!C QUAL!T!ES OF YOU FOLKS TO THE GREATER CRYPTOZOOLOGY COMMUN!TY
VC: okay but ser!ously we are both people! ! am VENN AND !T !S VERY N!CE TO MEET YOU
VC: though ! don't know what you mean by s!gn
VC: ! mean ! do have th!s PRETTY SP!FFY S!DEWAYS E!GHT ON MY CHEST
VC: mostly 'cause ! th!nk !t's K!ND OF
VC: MYSTER!OUS

[eiffel1]

-- pedanticEngineer [PE] replied to private memo at 21:14 --

PE: W-w-who...?
PE: H-how did you...?
PE: I-I, um...
PE: ...I'm P-p-p-page.
PE: A-a-a-and I'm a human...
PE: ...I don't h-have a s-s-s-sign, however... ;A;
PE: Oh...And, uh, h-hi Venn...
PE: D-d-d-d-o you k-know t-this...P-person?

[vio]

WI: v Venn and Page. v
WI: v I wish I could say it is a pleasure to meet you miserable motherfuckers. v
WI: v But considering the circumstances v
WI: v I would have to say it's v
WI: v PRETTY v
WI: v FUCKING v
WI: v DISPLEASURABLE v
WI: v I am going through your timelines, you miserable little wigglers. v
WI: v Back to front and front to back. v
WI: v Trying to find when exactly you motherfuckers fuck up. v
WI: v And in trying to narrow things down a little, I have come to you. v
WI: v You are the two most crucial players in your session. v
WI: v So I ask you. v
WI: v HOW THE MOTHERFUCK v
WI: v COULD YOU PANFRIED WIGGLER SHITS v
WI: v FUCK UP THIS BADLY v

[venndiegram]

VC: oh come on now
VC: we gave you names and races and get NOT A GOSH-DARN TH!NG !N RETURN
VC: SMELLS PRETTY DUB!OUS TO ME
VC: oh man nevermind
VC: keep !t that way
VC: so myster!ous
VC: anyway speak!ng of myster!ous !'m afra!d ! really don't have any !dea what you're talk!ng about
VC: um as far as ! know ! haven't fucked up anyth!ng of S!GN!F!CANT !MPORT QU!TE YET
VC: but who knows ! could always be !ncorrect
VC: ONE MUST NEVER RULE OUT THE POSS!B!L!TY OF
VC: !NACCURACY !N SELF-JUDGMENT
VC: that !s one of the MYR!AD REASONS WHY !T !S AMAZ!NGLY COOL TO HAVE FR!ENDS

[eiffel1]

PE: ...I f-f-f-messsed up?
PE: B-but I h-haven't even d-d-done anything yet...! ;A;
PE: O-oh man...Oh boy...Oh g-gosh...
PE: M-maybe it h-h-has s-something to do w-w-with one of m-my contraptions...?
PE: ...D-did one explode again w-without my noticing?
PE: ...Ishouldprobablygocheck...QQ
PE: Pleasedon'tletanythingbeonfire...

[vio]

WI: v Pathetic. v
WI: v FUCKING PITIFUL v
WI: v I come to you, Page. v
WI: v Seer to motherfucking Seer. v
WI: v AND YOU ARE v
WI: v MOTHERFUCKING v
WI: v USELESS v
WI: v The Heir knows what's what. v
WI: v He knows he doesn't know shit. v
WI: v He knows he has no v
WI: v MOTHERFUCKING IDEA v
WI: v OF WHAT'S COMING v
WI: v But it's not quite the wicked knowing of things. v
WI: v Which is not good enough. v
WI: v I am Caegar. v
WI: v One of the trolls you are all about to so unjustly fuck. v

[venndiegram]

VC: all r!ght caegar.
VC: !t !s very n!ce to meet you and all.
VC: but say!ng that to PE.
VC: !s.
VC: not.
VC: cool.

[eiffel1]

PE: ...U-um...I...Hnngh...Er... ;A;
PE: It'snicetomeetyouCaegarI'venevermetatrollbefore.
PE: ...W-what's a S-s-seer?
PE: ImeanIknowwhataseerisbutIdon'tknowwhataSeeris.
PE: Butthewayyoucapitalizeitmakesitlookimportant.
PE: A-and it's f-f-f-fine VC...
PE: ...I k-k-k-kind of a-am useless... T-T
PE: ...I've n-never been g-g-g-good at...w-well a lot of t-things.

[vio]

WI: v I am not a fucking schoolfeeder, but apparently you are all hollow-panned wigglers. v
WI: v If the brownblooded bitch is any example, which she motherfucking isn't, a Seer is a useless v
WI: v stuttering v
WI: v SACK OF WASTED FLESH v
WI: v THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN CULLED AT BIRTH v
WI: v Sweet mirth, I have never hated any group of people as much as I hate you all. v
WI: v I just want to dip my hands in your blood. v
WI: v AND PAINT SOME WICKED MOTHERFUCKING PICTURES v
WI: v I do not even have to specify that my hate is strictly motherfucking platonic. I can tell that you are both completely fucking incapable of a proper caliginous relationship. v
WI: v Who else have you talked to, blueblood. v
WI: v Tell me right the fuck now. v

[venndiegram]

VC: okay ! have to be honest
VC: th!s l!ttle act of yours
VC: wh!le at f!rst MODERATELY !NTR!GU!NG
VC: !s beg!nn!ng to just make me feel.
VC: CONSTERNATED.
VC: so.
VC: all r!ght.
VC: here's the deal.
VC: you know ! can ENDURE A GOOD-NATURED R!BB!NG AS MUCH AS THE NEXT FELLOW.
VC: BE!NG OF A HARDY GODDAMN CONST!TUT!ON AND ALL.
VC: but th!s NONSENS!CAL BULLSH!T COM!NG OUT OF YOU RIGHT NOW.
VC: !S K!ND OF LOWER!NG MY TOLERANCE LEVEL STRA!GHT DOWN TO JACK SH!T.
VC: HAVE YOU EVER MET JACK SH!T?
VC: NOT A FUCK!N' N!CE GUY.
VC: AND BOY !S HE LOW.
VC: LOWER THAN LOW.
VC: SO. L!STEN UP T!TSB!TCH.
VC: play.
VC: fuck!ng.
VC: N!CE.
VC: ugh now !'m just
VC: angry.
VC: man ! k!nda just want to go CH!LL OUT L!KE A SNOWMAN !N THE SUN
VC: but fuck !t hategobl!n.
VC: remember your pal JACK SH!T?
VC: and h!s level of UN!MPORTANCE?
VC: that !s K!ND OF HOW ! FEEL ABOUT BE!NG N!CE AND REASONABLE R!GHT NOW.
VC: ! don't feel n!ce and reasonable.
VC: at all.

[eiffel1]

PE: ...Dippingyourhandsinpeople'sbloodisbad.
PE: Youcangetallkindsofnastydiseaseslikethat...
PE: ...Whichwouldbereallybad...
PE: Uh...
PE: ...Erm...
PE: Guys...
PE: ...Really VC it's o-okay...
PE: Pleasedon'tfight. ;A;
PE: ...L-l-l-l-l-let's just all t-take a deep c-calming breath...
PE: And t-try to be c-c-c-civil...
Pe: ...Okay...? T-T

[vio]

WI: v Hahahahaha. v
WI: v HA HA MOTHERFUCKING HA v
WI: v Do you think you know anger? v
WI: v Do you think you have v
WI: v ANY v
WI: v MOTHERFUCKING IDEA v
WI: v OF WHAT IT MEANS v
WI: v TO BE ANGRY v
WI: v It's a motherfucking miracle you shitbrained hollowpanned wastes of flesh even make it into your session. v
WI: v Venn, why has Page not been culled? v

[venndiegram]

VC: YOU KNOW !T !S K!ND OF CUTE WHEN YOU'RE FLA!L!NG !NEFFECTUALLY
VC: L!KE SOME SORT OF FUCK!NG HATELEECH THAT GOT TOO FAR FROM THE SWAMP
VC: DO YOU SEE TH!S?
VC: TH!S !S NOT ANGER.
VC: !T !S A GODDAMN TRUTHBOMB ENROUTE STRA!GHT FOR YOUR FOREHEAD.
VC: DEL!VER!NG A SC!NT!LLAT!NG PAYLOAD OF "HEY B!TCH SHUT YOUR MOUTH."
VC: STRA!GHT TO YOUR TENDER HALF-FORMED BRA!NMEAT.
VC: ! KNOW THAT WAS A BIG LONG STR!NG OF WORDS SO !'LL LET YOU CATCH UP.
VC: ! MEAN ! MYSELF DO NOT F!ND MYSELF RESORT!NG TO THE SAME CHEAP TR!CK TW!CE !N A ROW
VC: ! MEAN WHAT !S A FUCK!NG SHALLOWPAN ANYWAY
VC: THE VERY LEAST YOU COULD DO !S MAKE SENSE !N YOUR OWN L!TTLE P!LE OF CRAPULESCENCE
VC: okay but ser!ously !f PE would l!ke me to calm down.
VC: then ! w!ll.
VC: see th!s?
VC: th!s !s me BE!NG A GOOD FR!END.
VC: cause good fr!ends matter more than v!bek!ll!ng hatemunchers.
VC: so ! w!ll.
VC: keep !t c!v!l.

[eiffel1]

PE: ...A-all this t-t-talk of c-culling sounds r-r-r-really scary... T-T
PE: Like H-hitler and the H-h-holocaust s-scary.
PE: YournotaNaziareyouCaegar?
PE: NotthatthereisanythingwrongwithbeingaNazi...
PE: ...Exceptforthembeleivingtheirbetterthaneveryoneelse...
PE: ...Andtryingtokillsomanypeople.
PE: ...NotthatIthinkyougoaroundkillinglotsofpeopleandpromotingsupremecy.
PE: ...O-oh g-g-g-g-g-gosh. ;A;
PE: T-that came out all w-w-w-w-w-w-wrong.
PE: I'm really s-s-sorry... QQ